Learning to Live Again - Book One

Chapter 5

Tamara pulled away from Daryl. She stayed at the big house, Lacy with her. She couldn't bring herself to go and talk to him and she couldn't bring herself to tell him about their baby. It wasn't because she was still mad at him or because she blamed him for anything. It was because she was five months pregnant and she hadn't felt their baby move yet.

Carol came to her day after day and begged her to tell him, told her that he was hurting because she was shutting him out. But Tamara couldn't look him in the eye and tell him that she was pregnant in one breath and then have to tell him that the baby hadn't moved yet in the next.

Soon Lacy was staying with Carol and Daryl was back camping out on the next hill over, barely looking at the others or speaking to them.

A few days after Rick, Glenn and Hershel had come back to the farm with Randall the kid they had saved, Rick and Shane left to take him as far away from the farm as possible and leave him there. Tamara decided to go and talk to Beth who had woke from her catatonic state but had now fallen into a deep depression.

She knocked on the young girl's bedroom door and walked into her room.

Beth sat up in the bed, her creamy skin turned pallid and her eyes dimmed by grief. The girl's dinner was sitting on the bedside table getting cold. So Tamara smiled softly, "How about you eat all your dinner and we go outside and walk around, might even spend some time with Lacy. She's been wantin' to see you." She told the younger woman.

Beth stared lifelessly at the comforter, "You're pregnant."

It wasn't a question and Tamara wondered how she had found out, "Yes, darlin', I am."

"How could ya do that?" she asked through her teeth.

Tamara sat down in the chair near the bed, "I didn't plan it. I was pregnant before this happened." Seeing that the girl didn't respond the brunette sat back in the chair and placed a small hand over her belly, "I'm scared." She admitted. "I'm scared this baby will be born into this world...and that he might never take a breath in this world."

Beth looked at her, "You don't know what ya want." She said shortly. "You don't have a choice about what happens you know."

Tamara tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and leaned forward to look at the young woman in front of her, "I don't have a choice, sweetheart, but you do." Getting up from the chair she leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and left her to eat in peace.

The next thing she knew Maggie was bringing Beth in to Hershel to have her wrist stitched after Andrea purposely left her alone and she broke a mirror and sliced her wrist to try and kill herself.

The smell of the blood turned Tamara's stomach but she made sure to keep a hold of Beth's wrist as Hershel quickly and efficiently put eight stitches into the blonde's skin.

"I know sweetheart. It's almost over." Tamara soothed softly when Beth whimpered a little.

Hershel put the final stitch in and then washed his hands as Patricia wrapped the wound in a bandage.

The older man looked pale and anxious and Tamara knew he was worried about his little girl. She left Beth's side for a moment and spoke quietly with the veterinarian, "Let me talk with her, Hershel. She needs someone who understands."

Hershel's kind blue eyes were suddenly sharp, "When Maggie left her with Andrea she was talking with someone who had been there." He said his voice low so Beth wouldn't hear.

Tamara put a gentle hand on his arm, "Andrea thought she was doing what was right by leaving Beth with the choice. She was wrong to do it. Beth needs someone there to talk with her about what she wants and doesn't want. She was so far gone in her depression she didn't know until she felt the pain what dying is really like and that's what scared her into stopping."