My Curse

Everyday I walk down the school's hallways thinking to myself when will I be happy? I look around and I see everyone with a smile. Girls kissing their boyfriends, friends messing around with eachother, people having the time of their lives. High school loves those people but it hates me. 

I still don't know what I want in life. Well I have an idea but somehow I just know it won't happen for me. I want a loving husband who loves me for me and not for what I look like. Seems like that kind of guy is really hard to find. I want my own family to love and take care of, but sometimes I feel like its too much to ask. 

I know I should do something about it but I'm so afraid of taking a chance. I really don't want to hurt anyone and I'd rather take the fall instead of the flight. If I fall from flying who knows if I will be able to take off again.

I love my parents, I really do but they're always caught up in their work that I barely ever see them everyday. Now that I think about it the last time I saw them awake was three days ago. I have no brothers or sisters, which I wish I did. I'd love for someone who I could trust and talk to all the time. 

I have black hair and brown eyes, yea not a good combo I know. I'm not the skinniest person either. I put on makeup everyday just to get at least some person to talk to me but nothing ever happens. I wear a black jean jacket everyday because its my favorite piece of clothing. I got it from a shop where some guy actually talked to me.

 I'm laying in my bed staring up at the ceiling. Half my room is a mess and the other is organized. I'm laying on my un-organized side of my bed playing with my hair. I'm alone in my house. It's peaceful in here, but something felt like it needed to jump out. I stood up and walked to my window where the street was quiet and empty. I imagined myself shooting some hoops with a sibling I should've had.

I sighed then headed for the staircase.  It was a Sunday afternoon when I'd always walk around the house and do nothing. Today I think i might change that.

I tossed on my black jean jacket and put a forest green hoodie over it. I grabbed the house keys, my writing journal, and my pencil and headed out the door. I locked the front screen door and put my hood up.

I walked down the cement sidewalk toward the neighborhood park. The sky was cloudy and the fog creeped around me. The air was cool but it didn't bother me. I climbed down into a gully and searched around for a good spot to sit in. Soon i found a small little cave near a bridge over the creek. I sat down on the damp ground and pulled out my writing journal.

I began to write.....

My Curse by Zaida Evans