Hollow Hearts Unite

There's a Girl Next Door

I blasted my favorite band "Hawthorne Heights" through my headphones as the song "Hollow Hearts Unite" played. I sort of snickered at that before I realized I knew that girl. She lived next door to me, always had. She rode the bus with me, and even went to my school and had classes with me. She always wore oversized shirts and jackets and always tried to cover her hands in the massive sleeves. She always read books all the time with headphones in and sat alone in corners. She always had dark blue/purple hair in her face, bangs covering her eyes.

I forget her name now because it's not like we ever talk yknow. We know each other exist, but beyond that I highly doubt we would EVER talk! I laid there on my bed turning up the music to drown out my idiotic mother. She finally reached me and screamed at me to go get dinner. I ran downstairs and picked it up off the counter and ran back to my room. I quickly put on My Chemical Romance on my iPod dock and then turned on my Xbox to play COD. I ate and fell asleep with my star lamp on and my game and TV and music still on. Plus my plate was lying on top of me on my sheets. I woke up late the next morning and rushed to get dressed and eat and head out. I had in headphones so I didn't hear my mom yell at me for not taking my plate down last night. I got to the bus stop and waited. Niki, that's her name, was waiting with her nose in a book called "Where She Went" and her headphones in. I noticed that today she didn't have oversized sleeves on, so I could see her arms. I gasped and she said, "I know. It's bad. But I-I j-just d-don't have anything else. I have no one. My dads a Jack*ss and the pain I get relief from by doing this is AMAZING because he brings me so much pain. So much F**king pain!" Then she looked away from me and said, "I'm a wreck, and an ugly gross loser. NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE ME!" I didn't know what to say. So I said, "I'm Josh. Josh Matthews." She said, "I know." And then the bus arrived so we got on and sat in our separate respective seats. I thought more about how she'd said no one would ever love her, and figured I couldn't look that bad or be that bad of a person. I went to the bathroom and spent an entire math class judging myself to make sure she'd like me.

I really wasn't that bad, so I don't know why she didn't like me even one bit. Now I HATED myself only because she wouldn't like me! She was always there in my head, in my heart. I guess I loved her, but I wasn't sure. All I knew was that I needed to have her. She needed saving, and I think I could save her. I wondered why she would do THAT to herself, so in Spanish I wrote her a letter.

When I got to lunch I snuck by her table and stuck the note in her book on the page she was reading. Then I left and waited till after school. After an hour of pacing around my room and looking out my side view window for her to hop my fence, I saw her. She had on a flannel this time over her arms. But low and behold she left the note with her note and the red balloon in my old treehouse. Her note said:

I smiled and then hopped her fence to find her tracing band logos into the dirt with a stick. I invited her to my treehouse and we talked for hours! We talked about our favorite bands.

Then she told me about her home life, and the cutting, and her fathers abuse. She started crying and tried to run away, but I grabbed her arm. She flinched and pulled away as I stared into her eyes and held her in my arms. She slowly and loudly sobbed for like 20 minutes before her DrunkA** father came into their backyard yelling at her to get home. She ran home crying, and I didn't see her for a month.