The High School Experience

» a thing called karma

"Number one: go to a late-night party," she read. As she was reading the first thing off the list, I stared at her in shock. Caryn's eyes were flickering between the two of us excitedly. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Natalia had actually proved something right, for once.

Crap. What had I gotten myself into?

· Chapter Six ·

Sighing after a few beats of silence had gone by, I passed a hand over my face. "Natalia, I don't know about this," I told her, eyes half-closed. At this, a brief look of shock passed over her face, and I could tell she was positively taken aback.

"But," she said, swallowing hard, "you promised, Tiffany." The excited glimmer that was once in her eyes just moments ago had instantly faded. They were fixed so strongly on my face that they seemed to be burning a hole through my skull.

"I know." I replied, "But I just don't see how this is going to work."

Caryn cleared her throat subtly, a frown making itself known on the pale colour of her face. "To be fair," she started, pointedly glancing between Natalia and I, "you did make that promise, Tiffany." Natalia nodded absent-mindedly, little wisps of hair bobbing up and down with each movement.

My mind slowly and deliberately processed her words. She was right, of course. I did make that promise, but now, thinking back on it, I knew I'd only said 'yes' because I hated refusing people. That was one of my weaknesses. And I hated myself for it.

Guilt wallowed in the pit of my stomach, and I sunk low into my seat, my eyes removing their gaze from Natalia's hurt expression and Caryn's pointed one. "I know," I told them, my voice reasonable. "I know, but like I said, I just don't know how it's going to work."

Caryn raised an eyebrow, and even with her not saying anything, I knew she didn't believe me. Neither of them did. I looked up from where I was studying the tiled floor diligently to see Caryn open her mouth to say some sort of accusing statement. But before she could, I jumped in.

"What I mean is how?" I said. "My mom wouldn't ever let me go to a party, knowing what they're like."

Natalia sniffed, and shrugged. "They're not that bad," she protested half-hearted.

But we all knew what they were like. Even I knew, without ever being unfortunate enough to attend one. And they were bad. More than bad, actually. The things that actually went on in a high-school party, which was even worse with our school, were too vulgar to mention. I'd heard the rumours going round about how many boys got laid, and who got stoned and whatever, and I'd just hoped they were just rumours and nothing else, but with the behaviour and actions of my classmates, I begged to differ.

I shrugged my own shoulder, choosing the wise option of not commenting. Natalia wasn't even allowed to attend them; most of the time, she just sneaked out, or pretended she was going over to a friend's to study. Caryn hummed softly, dark eyebrows drawing together in the middle. She was tapping on the table top, long, painted fingers, repeating the same fast-paced rhythm over and over again. The three of us lapsed into silence once again, which contrasted with the swarm of thoughts milling around in my head.

Dejectedly, I reached out to take hold of my mug, which held the remnants of coffee residue at the bottom. I traced the brim of it lightly with my index finger; my eyes followed the invisible rings I made around the cup. The silence was really getting long now. I just wanted someone to say something. Anything.

"Hey."

I jumped slightly at the sound of Caryn's sudden voice. I glanced up, thankful that we weren't just wallowing in guilt and hurt and whatever my other best friend was feeling. Natalia looked up too, eyes somewhat narrowed.