Finding Harley: Renegades MC Story

Chapter 15

God what I wouldn't give to have that kind of life.   What did normal 24 year olds worry about?   College?  Men?   Neither were ever an option for me.   Well sure I did take several on line courses but I figured that was not the same as living on a campus, hanging at a frat house and partying with girlfriends.  

That life seemed so foreign to me and a part of me resented that I was never given the chance to have that.   My childhood was basically ripped from me and I was determined not to go another year living the way I have been.  

Picking up the bottle I drained the last of the liquid inside.  The room around me began to fade out as I lived in a blissful haze.  I totally needed to drink more often. This felt so awesome.

Motioning for the Prospect I asked for another bottle.  He turned to look at Mac.

"What the fuck are you looking at him for?  Give me another bottle." I slurred.   I would not let Mac ruin my party, a party long overdue.

"Besides I am celebrating Mac.   The fucker who tortured me for hours before raping me is finally dead.  If that doesn't warrant a few fucking drinks I don't know what does."

I hated the look of pity Mac was giving me, it pissed me off.

"Oh Mac lighten the fuck up.   Shit happened...well a lot of shit, I can't change that, hell I can't even forget about it.   How do you get over something like that?  How do you stop the nightmares?"

"I don't know sweetheart, I don't know.   But drinking like this is not the answer."

"Well Mac for once in my life I want the pain to stop, the memories to fade...this is helping."

Hands circled my waist causing me to spill my drink on the bar.   "Then drink baby.   Mac and I will be by your side the whole way."   Dammit where the hell did Axel come from?  But damn did his arms feel nice.   So big and muscular.   Leaning back in to the body that stood behind me I tried to sink further into him.  

And he didn't disappoint...tucking me right up into his chest as he leaned over and righted the tipped shot glass.   "If this helps you baby...then drink away."

God I hated sweet Axel.   Controlling Axel I could handle.  Pissed off Axel I knew what to do with.   But not this side of him.   I tried to lean out of his hold only to realize he wasn't about to let me go.   I watched as he poured another drink and handed it to me.  

Turning my head I tried to focus on the face that warmed different parts of my body that the alcohol couldn't reach.   "Christ why do you have to be so God damn sexy."

Chuckling, he leaned down to kiss my cheek.   "Glad you think so baby, now drink up."  

The next two shots went down smoothly as my body succumbed to its effects.   Yep this drinking thing rocked.  

"Hey Axel..."

"Yes darling..."

"You confuse me, you know that..."

"Yeah I know, you confuse me to."

"I hate how my body gets all tingly when you are around.  Never had that happen before."

"Good to know.  You feeling okay darling?"

"Like I am on a cloud, I love vodka, it is my new best friend...well I guess it is my only friend...other than Nix...I miss Nix..."

"Who the hell is Nix? And you have friends baby...me, Mac, the brothers, your father.   We are all here for you now."

"Yeah but it's too late now...I am too damaged.   Nobody wants a friend like me, I am worthless.  Slash was right."

"Don't you dare fucking say that.   You are not worthless Harley, fuck I can't even think straight when I am around you.   I keep messing up and I don't know how to fix it."

"I can't be fixed Axel, don't you know I'm broken.  Pathetic really when you think about it."

"Enough Harley common darling you have had plenty, time for bed."

Realizing I was too drunk to argue about it, I didn't fight him when Axel scooped me up in his arms and carried me.   The club house seemed empty for some reason.  Quiet.  Weird that I just noticed that.

"Where did the party go?"

"Out...I didn't want the guys to see you like this.   Only Mac, the Prospect and I stayed.   Come on lets get you into bed."

"NO!   I can't go to sleep.   When I close my eyes all I see is blood.   My blood dripping down my body.   I hate it Axel, I hate it.   Make it stop, please just make it stop."

Setting me down on the bed, he followed.   "I am right here and never leaving your side again.   If you have a nightmare I will be right here."

It was such a foreign concept to me, depending on someone else.   I guess this is what normal people do right?   Have connections?   I could figure it out tomorrow.   All I wanted now was sleep.   Pulling me into his chest I rested briefly before the room started spinning.

"Axel I don't feel so good..."