Everlasting Arms (Tronnor)

tell.

Also it wouldn't really help my kind of twisted...situation, I guess.

You see, since I had met Connor, I had been attracted to him.
I'm not talking about some cheesy shit like love at the first sight or something like that. It was pure physical attraction, at least in the beginning. Something about him was just...captivating.

I had managed to keep it down as much as possible, but for the last couple of months, my feelings towards him had increased majorly. It wasn't plain attraction anymore – it was a full on crush. I had a crush on my supposedly straight friend and it was eating me alive.
I'd probably never have a chance with him. The mere thought of him, hitting it off with a girl was enough to make me want to throw up.

He looked up at me for the first time during our conversation, catching my attention with these gorgeous green eyes of his.
"I'm gay."

Oh shit.

For a second, it was like these words paralysed me. It was something was stuck in my throat, making it hard to breathe. He couldn't be serious, right? Connor was just messing with me. There was no way in hell.
Well, the look in his eyes told me otherwise. He was dead serious.
I, on the other hand, couldn't believe what he just said. This couldn't be real life. How could such an attractive man bat for my team and keep it from me for such a long time? God damn it, what on earth was I supposed to do?
I couldn't exactly tell him something like "Oh great! I think you're like the hottest person on earth and now that you told me you're gay we can finally hook up!". Not an option.

So I just settled for awkwardly staring at him for a few a few seconds before opening my mouth in order to stammer: "U-Uhm okay... Well then."

Connor just looked at me questioningly, obviously waiting for me to say something else. A crimson blush crept up my neck and I was close to punching myself.
"E-Excuse me."

Then I walked off into Tyler's living room, where the others were still hanging out. Best move ever. Leaving your friend alone after he came out to you not even a minute ago.
Still kind of jittery, I joined them. Ty was sitting on his couch with Grace and Mamrie. Latter had a trusty old bottle of beer in her hand. I tried to follow their conversation but I was too caught up in my own thoughts.

Connor came into the room a few moments later, looking rather confused and kind of shell-shocked. I just smiled at him reassuringly. He calmed down visibly, but shot me a questioning glance every now and then-
I would never tell him why I had bailed on him earlier though. I would have to keep my distance.

No matter how much I wanted him, needed him, I couldn't risk our friendship for selfish reasons.

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"Cause when you look like that, I've never ever wanted to be so bad – and it drives wild." He read to me.
I flinched in surprise because I hadn't noticed him until now. Looking over my shoulder, I almost hit his face with my own. He was so close, I could feel his hot breath on my skin.

"Having the hots for someone there?" I blushed at his question and looked away from his face. Even though I knew he was just joking, I couldn't help but feel a little guilty.

I turned back to my notebook. "Maybe I do." I said quite a bit too nervously.

Connor chuckled and rested his hand on my shoulder. I tried to ignore him as much as possible, but all of my plans were deciphered when his body moved even closer. He was gently touching my arm, rubbing slowly, almost sensually.
What the hell was happening?
A shiver disrupted my guts and I swallowed thickly. His small touches were effecting me way too much for my liking. And even though I couldn't see his face, I knew he'd wear one of his smug little grins.