easy a

part one: the big lie

Okay so I don't know how to begin. Let's start at the first part, part one.

The completely cliché false statement of how I lost my virginity to a community college girl.

Now let me just say, there are two sides to each story. Whoevers watching this, this is my side. The right one.

I walked my way down the stairs entering the hallway with my biology book clutched to my chest. Watching all my peers walk past me. I know I'm highly sarcastic, not that funny and definitely not attractive but having some attention for once in a while would be nice I guess. But I couldn't focus on anything because my friend who everyone calls fish legs (you guys know him, the guy who fish fell on his leg and he didn't notice on that 5th grade camping trip.) he was going on and on about something completely irrelevant.

I looked up at the ceiling and looked back down and rolled my eyes at him, as a group of jocks walked by. Jesus those guys are high on steroids.

"Kate is not a hot name. Kate is what you would call a milf porn star. Not the name you want to moan when someone's sucking your dick." Fish legs my only friend explained to me.

"Fis-" I was cut off by our English teacher approaching us.

"Hello gentlemen I couldn't help but over hearing what your talking about" Mr Gobber said crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh yeah, we um..." Fish Legs mumbled glancing over me for help. I love how he assumed I get us out of this mess. Which I could.

"You see Mr. Gobber we were talking about the stable self and perpetuating end stage of the evolution of the plant community." Fish Legs nodded his head along and flashed a smile. "Why what did you think we were talking about" I asked grinnimg.

"Henry, Francis hit the books, pugs not drugs, you mess with the bulls get the horn. I'm not stupid you know."

The bell rang.

"Class over" he said.

I'm not good at school but English was just somehow my strong suit.

Fish legs kept slapping my arm to get this non existent information out of me. I rolled my eyes for the hundredth time today. I love him to death he's my best and only friend but sometimes he can be suffocating.

"Come on tell me why you can't go camping with us? It'll be fun!" He whined agian shoving me.

"I already told you fish I have a date" I said nawing on my bottom lip.

"Bullshit" he scoffed.

"I really do!" I shouted. Okay I really didn't have a date. I just didn't want to spend the weekend with calums family. Theyre such a weird bunch. So I lied to him.

I told him I had a date with a girl named Kate. My brothers friend. And Kate didn't exist to my knowledge.

Fish legs crossed his arms. "You know what don't come you asshole." He paused to thing of what to say. "Just so you know I hate you. Now go get your churro" he pointed to the lunch line.

I sighed. "Do you want one"

He didn't answer so I took it as a no.

No this is how I actually spent my after noon.

Friday afternoon.

"Hiccup!" Oh god I hated that nickname. "What!" I shouted.
"Grandma dropped off your card for you its in your room."
"Thanks!" I said and I ran up the flight of stairs to the end of the long hallway and opened the door.

I threw my book bag on the floor and I noticed the card.
"Happy birthday!" It read. I looked in side for any money I shook it out came a 100 dollar bill and a 25 dollar dunkin donuts card.

It was a pretty good card.

Saturday morning

I tossed the small basketball in my hand up and caught it. I tried throwing it up to the ceiling