querencia. [nomin/jaeno]

Today I Saw The Whole World

Obviously, the rest of them hadn't taken the news well. Donghyuck had been gone for about a month now, each day getting worse rather than easier without him. Chenle had been missing for a couple days, all their hearts freezing over with fear and worry. They hadn't known where he was, and they had no way of finding out.

Jane blamed this incident on herself too, as she always had. In all honesty, Jaemin felt like he should blame himself as well. He feels he should take the blame for every bad thing in life, his body only holding other people's fingerprints and every negative energy that has ever been passed to him. Chenle was innocent, to the extent he could be. He was still a kid, a dumb stupid kid who couldn't be a kid, for he was forced into being some sort of prostitute.

They all felt like they were going insane, they had so much they needed to do but nothing they actually could do. They all felt useless and they all felt scared, one of their brothers was gone, and what were they supposed to do about it?

The apartment felt twice as quiet now, already feeling so since Donghyuck had left, and now they were missing two people. Jaemin felt more empty, somehow being able to. His brain was filled with a million thoughts per minute, but also nothing at the same time. He felt frozen in time, but he had also felt like time had been moving way too quickly for his liking.

He just wanted his brothers back.

Jaemin's head hurt. He sat at the kitchen table with his head against the cool wood, his cheek smushed against it. His brain was fuzzy, his thoughts dripping from his ear against the table. He didn't want to think right now, he just wanted to leave and never come back. He wouldn't mind being ran over by a car right about now.

Some of the others sat at the table as well, or just stood in the kitchen. They were speaking but Jaemin couldn't be bothered to listen, his head swarmed with too many feelings he couldn't bare to handle right now. The press of the wood against his cheek was beginning to tighten his jaw, but he sat there not moving even if he tried to get up.

"Let's just fucking kill them." Jane spoke, her voice harsh.

"Shut up, Jane. How the hell are we supposed to do that?" Renjun spoke up, a couple footsteps shuffling around the kitchen and around Jaemin.

"I don't know? A gun? An axe? Anything? We could take them on, there's a dozen of us." The girl continued, beginning to argue with the boy.

"We aren't going to find him at all if you guys continue being stupid." He heard Xiaojun's voice, Jaemin could almost hear the boy rolling his eyes as well.

"Well we have to do something, at least I'm fucking trying. You guys are just sitting here crying." Jane spat.

"Stop it! There's no reason to be fighting right now." Ten shouted a bit, his voice raising above everyone else's.

"Maybe if people would actually step up with me then there really wouldn't be a reason for fighting. I'm sick of this, let's just go!" Jane yelled again.

More footsteps were sounded, Jaemin shutting his eyes tightly. He could barely handle his own thoughts, let alone everyone else shouting around him. The boy tried to tune them out again, wanting some peace and quiet for a bit, he needed to get out of here.

It was nearing night time, the small amount of windows they had in the apartment, aka like two, holding no light anymore as the sun set. Jaemin liked night a bit more than the day at this point, it used to be the opposite, as he enjoyed the bright skies; but now everything was quieter and more personal at night, so he found himself enjoying it more.

"Can you guys stop being so fucking selfish?" Mark yelled.

"Okay, please-" Ten started.

Jaemin harshly got up, the chair underneath him making a scratching noise against the tile. Everyone stopped talking and turned to look at him in a bit of shock, Jaemin never really got angry, but he looked a bit pissed.