Chicago PD One Shots

I'll Always Be Here for You Jay

Jay drove himself home while on autopilot. He couldn't stop thinking about if maybe he would've pushed harder for Mouse to stay or for him to become a cop more than maybe he would still be here. After what feels like forever he arrives to his apartment. Normally he would take the stairs as his apartment is only on the 4th floor and he likes the exercise, but he's so emotionally and mentally tired that he just takes the elevator. He walks into his apartment and goes straight to his bedroom. He puts his badge and gun on his dresser, normally he would put them straight into his safe but again he didn't have the energy to do so. He lays down on his bed, just staring at the wall thinking about his deceased best friend and all that he did for him, the way he saved him. He falls asleep thinking about the last conversation he had with Mouse.

**It was a couple of months after he reenlisted. He was working on some paperwork at home when his phone rang. Seeing it was his best friend he hasn't seen since he left, he instantly picked up "Mouse" he said, with slight excitement in his voice "Hey Jay" he said "How's it going down there? " Jay asked, slightly worried "Ok, feels like nothing's changed" he says, chuckling a little "That's good, I'm glad to hear from you. Been worried " he says. They talk about some other random stuff before Mouse starts "Jay, I know you didn't want me to come back-" he says before Jay cuts him off "No, Mouse I shouldn't have tried to stop you from going back. If this is what you want and makes you happy then I'm happy for you brother" Jay says "Thanks man" Mouse says, clearing his throat trying not to cry "Listen I have to go, but I'll try to call again soon. Love you man" Mouse says "Love you too, be safe" Jay said "I will " Mouse said and then he hung up. **

He then wakes up hyperventilating, hoping that this whole thing was a bad dream but quickly realizes the pain was in fact real. Jay tried to call him a couple times over the years but he never picked up and he somehow always missed when Mouse would call him.

Jay always said he would never forgive himself if something happened to Mouse because he couldn't stop him from going and he's feeling that pretty hard right now. He can't take the guilt he's feeling. Seeing that it is 5:00, he gets up from his bed, somehow finding the energy, and goes into his kitchen to grab a bottle of Vodka. He then grabs his gun and the bottle then sits down on the couch. He downs half the bottle of Vodka and just sits there with the gun in his hands. He's too zoned out to hear the knocking on his door. He just sits there thinking about why he's still here.

______

The rest of the unit come back with lunch to find Hailey sitting at her desk alone. "Where's Jay? " Kim, being the first to notice Jay's jacket is gone as she hands Hailey her sandwich, asks "He wasn't feeling well after you guys left, so I made him go home" Hailey answers "Is he ok? " Adam asks "Yeah, probably just some 24 hour bug" Hailey says, trying to drop the subject to let Jay keep his privacy. She then gets up and heads to the locker room to try and call Jay. After a couple rings, it goes straight to voicemail and she leaves a message

"Hey Jay, it's me. I just wanted to check on you. Please call me if you need anything, even if it's just to talk" she says then hangs up and heads back to her desk to eat lunch.

After 3 more hours and two almost screaming matches between Adam and Kevin over their stupid game, Voight lets everyone go for the evening. "Anyone up for Molly's? " Kevin asks as everyone's packing up for the day. Everyone says yes except for Hailey and Vanessa. Hailey wanting to check up on Jay and Vanessa saying she's meeting up with some old friends and that she'll meet Hailey at home later. Hailey makes her way to her car and makes the drive to a Chinese place near Jay's house to get him some food cause she can bet he hasn't eaten.