The armoured hearts

Decent

“You don’t know…” Porchay repeated, too stunned to speak. “Well…P’Kim… you are a whole mystery…”

“Mystery?” He asked, raising his head. 

He could talk, speak well enough. He could cook, shower, hunt, good enough. But he looked so out of humanity, so out of what a young boy would look like, kinda disconnected to his inside, just totally following rules, rules and rules. 

“Yes…” Porchay said. “But don’t worry! I am here to help you!” 

“Help me?” 

“Yes. Remember, we are the same. Can I ask you something first?”

“A question, an answer…” Kim murmured before nodding. 

“I … pee on myself…” He hardly said, embarrassed. 

“That isn’t right, you need to do it in the toilet.” Kim said immediately, making Porchay smile. He really knew the basics. 

“Right? What was I thinking?” He giggled. “It  is really uncomfortable…and dirty…Can you share one of your pants and trousers with me?” Porchay asked, not waiting for a great answer but it came. Even better, Kim just told him to follow him and after some stairs he found a pretty corridor, with some suns on the walls and three rooms. One bathroom, one bedroom and one empty room. It was clean and tidy, like a perfect doll house. 

“Here.” He said giving it to Porchay who thanked him but didn’t understand why Kim just stayed. 

“Maybe…you still have to cut the wood?” He innocently said, making Kim nod quickly, going away. Porchay sighed loudly, getting naked for a moment before putting the clothes on. He thought, sat on the bed and wondered, if in the end Kim also didn’t look naked. As if he only learnt how to breathe but not how to use that breath. As if he knew how to drive the carriage, but he didn’t know where. It was so confusing, strange and maybe a little scary but the survival instinct took the lead and he thought that Kim was perfect to hide. 

In fact, he was feeling bad. He was like those people taking advantage of less knowing ones, but he also thought that it wouldn’t be bad for Kim, to just have company for some time and to maybe learn a little differently than from that stupid and emotionless piece of paper. He was reassuring himself, he wasn’t manipulating Kim, he was just giving another experience of living to him and it couldn’t be harmful. Not even knowing where he was putting his foot in. 

Porchay went down, looking around, wandering, discovering. He didn’t want to go outside. What if someone saw him and decided to call the authority? He didn’t want to die now. 

Kim came back, startling a little Porchay. He was covered in sweat and shirtless. The boy took notes, maybe intimacy wasn’t that known for someone living alone, just some events hinting it to his senses. And seeing how built he was, he was glad that Kim didn’t try to kill him. There was also a training program and Porchay thought that Kim definitely didn’t miss it. 

“What are you eating?” He simply asked making Porchay laugh. 

“Like you.” 

“For real?” Kim said, surprised, sitting on a chair and Porchay sat on another one, facing him. 

“Yes, I told you, we are both humans.”

“Are we for real?” 

It hit Porchay that he didn’t see any mirrors in that house. He didn’t see anything making Kim able to see himself. He didn’t want to think about it but he wondered if the boy could ever look at his own face, the answer seemed to be no. 

“Look.” Porchay said, putting his hands up. “Do it too.” Kim did it, and the boy put his hand on Kim's. They were tinier, crushed easily, but Kim now looked even smaller, really intrigued and interested by what Porchay did. His eyes big, round, like the very innocent child he could be in his heart. “We are the same right?”

“You’re smaller though.” Kim just commented. 

“Thanks.” Porchay laughed again. “But we are still the same, the same palm, the same fingers…” He explained, intertwining their hands.”See, even the same type of warmth.”

“It’s...true…”

“It really is.” Porchay giggled again, happy to have helped him to learn how to recognize a human. 

“This sounds… you do… what is it?”

“The sound…”Porchay murmured, trying to understand. “Oh the laugh! wait…you don’t know how to laugh…” He stated, Kim denied silently. 

Another violent hit for Porchay. Laughing, screaming. Everything might have been a mechanism triggered by everyone. We copied our parents, friends, acquaintances, we learnt to just all have identical reactions. And then, we repeated it, we learnt about the world, developed humor, and began to laugh. Sometimes together, sometimes alone. Most of the time naturally. Kim might have been alone for so long that a part of his natural reactions might have just disappeared along with his loneliness. And Porchay’s heart sank because he couldn’t understand who could want to let a boy alone in that house, following stupid rules, to make him a built warrior and not a decent human.