The Jealousy Plot

29) The End of A Chapter, The Start of A New One

"Goodbyes can be hard, especially goodbyes to such a wonderful story. Even if it isn't really the end, it still is a piece of your life, a piece of you" he continues. "And every goodbye isn't truely the last one. Even when your life on Earth is over, that is not your final goodbye but the start of what people have been guessing at for millions of years".

"So my students, when I say goodbye to you this is not to tell you that this is the end. This is a goodbye to tell you that I believe in every one of you and expect big things out of you. Not neccessarily good things or bad things but big things".

"And as that clock ticks down your final seconds of your junior year" he says, pointing towards the clock, 30 seconds away from 3:30. "You are the one to decide how this goodbye of this chapter will be. If this will be a chapter you will look back on as one of your good ones or your bad ones".

"And with 15 seconds left" he continues. "I would like to quote Anne Frank. 'The final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands'. Form your own life and goodbyes yourself so that when you look back at this chapter in your book, you can say it was a pretty damn good one. And with that I announce this class, dismissed".

The bell rings immediately after his words, as if they were waiting on Mr. Solender to finish. Everyone immediately gets up and files out the door. I walk up to Mr. Solender's desk. "I wanted to say thank you. For everything" I start.

He turns towards me. He doesn't look like he has the intent to interrupt so I continue. "You're the best teacher I've ever had. Not because you teach English or World History well, but because you teach me so much more than anyone else ever has".

Mr. Solender smiles before speaking. "I'm not surprised you feel that way Ms. Adams. From the first day of school I could tell you were interested in much more than I was told to teach. I'm glad one of my pupils listens to my speeches. And you shouldn't be thanking me, I should be thanking you".

"For what?" I ask, amazed he would actually believe that he should be the grateful one. He takes a piece of paper out of his bag. "Are you aware that Mr. Evans was failing my class for 7 straight weeks?" he asks me.

I shift uncomfortably from foot to foot. "Yeah" I answer. He looks over the paper once before speaking. "Are you aware that he finished my class with a B average?".

"He..What?!" I stutter in disbelief. He continues. "After his exam he was so close to a B average I decided to give him an extra credit question to see if he would care enough to raise his grade".

"His question was Why do you think that people are able to so easily envy others that are not them? Give one example this was his answer". Mr Solender clears his throat before continuing.

'Well shit, you really gave me a relatable question. Hmm, not sure I should right the word "shit" on an essay question but I've already written it and this pencil doesn't have an eraser so I'm just going to keep it there.

Lately I've been asking myself the same question. Why do I feel my teeth grinding whenever he is put on the field instead of me? Why do I believe I am such a worthless piece of shit (sorry again) when she insists the she sees so much more in me? And why do I feel my stomach clench whenever he holds her in his arms?

I look down at the floor as Mr. Solender continues.

The answer to that is quite easier than people make it out to be. People don't envy a physical person such as they envy that one thing the person has that they don't. You may envy a person because of their clothes or physical appearance or ability. People don't neccesarily envy an entire person. It's just that one thing they have that you want so badly it brings out your bad jealous side.