Still Falling For You | Spencer Reid

prologue

I'm not sure where he got it from or how he'd managed to hide it from me, but he was now holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"Happy birthday," He wishes with a wide grin on his face and his chest puffed up in pride at his gift.

The wrapping paper didn't look professionally put together. Instead, I could still see pieces of tape sticking out and the jagged edges where the paper had been cut.

"Did you put this together yourself?"

Looking down at the bouquet, he deflates a little. "Is it that obvious? I thought I did a pretty good job." Spencer frowns, "If you want, we could get one from the store. You can even pick one out yourself-"

Before he could even complete his sentence, I snatch the bouquet out of his hand, holding it to my chest. "Its perfect. I love it."

The smile on his face widens and he holds out a hand to me, looking down at his watch. "Come on, I have a whole day planned. If we don't get going now, we'll be behind schedule."

I roll my eyes as I slip my hand into his. Only Spencer would make an entire schedule for a birthday celebration.

*

Everything was perfect.

Spencer had planned a picnic at a nearby field. By the time we got there, there was already a blanket laid out and a basket full of all of my favourite food.

I'm not sure how he'd managed to pull it off, but he did. And I loved every second of it.

Now, I'm sitting at the back of Spencer's bike with my hands wrapped around his waist and chin propped up on his shoulder as he cycles me home.

I savour the feeling of the wind in my hair and Spencer's strong presence. Despite the bullying and the stuff with his mom he was still going through, Spencer refuses to acknowledge his strength. He sees them all as weaknesses and I'd just wished that for once he could see himself the way I see him.

"And the carriage makes it just before midnight to deliver its Princess home," Spencer says dramatically as he helps me off of his bike when we reach my house.

I chuckle, taking the hand he offers me before he walks me to the door. "Would that make you the mice that drove the carriage or my Prince Charming?"

Spencer doesn't grant me an answer, and we're both silent as we walk hand in hand.

"Well." I clear my throat as we step onto my porch, "Thank you for tonight, Spence." Raising up on my tippy-toes, I press a kiss to his cheek. "This was the best birthday ever."

I start to pull away, but Spencer stops me with an arm around my waist.

His nose brushes mine as he leans his forehead on mine, his breath ghosting over my lips as he whispers, "Love you, Aves."

I shouldn't be thinking too much into this. It wasn't as if Spencer has never told me that he loved me. He has, a million times before and I knew that he loves me- as friends.

Still, it doesn't stop the butterflies in my stomach from taking flight every single time he says it to me. It doesn't stop me from pretending that he meant that he was in love with me and not just that he loved me the way you loved your best friend.

"Love you too, Spence," I say in return. The only difference was that I didn't mean it the same way he does.

I already knew how this went. And so, I wait for him to kiss me on the forehead like he normally does when he says goodbye. Then, he'll stay and watch until I wave to him from my bedroom window to make sure I was safe before he cycles off.

But he never lets me go. Instead, he reaches up to brush his fingers through my hair in a move so intimate it makes my breath catch in my throat.

Then, he leans down and presses his lips firmly against mine.

A second ticks by. Then, another. And he pulls away.

Neither of us say a word, not wanting to ruin this moment that felt like it was pivotal to our relationship.

His eyes are still shut as he holds me in his arms like he was savouring the moment.

"Sweet dreams, Aves." He mutters, delivering his usual forehead-kiss before he takes a step back from me, and I immediately mourn the loss of his warmth around me.

Without even waiting for me to say goodnight in return, he turns and returns to his bike. Spencer gets on, but doesn't cycle off, waiting for me to enter the house like he normally does.

Except, tonight was nothing like the ones before.

Tonight was the night we'd both shared our first kiss. Not just with each other, but our first kisses ever.

If this were a fairytale, tonight would've been the start to a happily ever after.

But, it isn't. In this version of reality, I get into my house, rushing up the stairs to my bedroom window to wave to Spencer, only to find that he hasn't waited to see me one last time before he cycles off into the night.

In this version of reality, neither one of us brings up the kiss that we shared ever again and I never get the courage to chase after what my heart had truly wanted; him.