Little Freak [h.s.]

1

"Bye Hazel see you tomorrow!" My co worker Macy yells out to me as I clock out of my twelve hour shift.

"Bye Macy remember we have big deliveries to tomorrow morning!" I say back with a smile as I exit the hospital and walk towards my car.

Today was a rough one. Back to back c-sections and I had to help Dr. Miller deliver a preemie. That's a day in the life of a labor and delivery nurse for you. Twelve hour shifts almost every day plus trying to maintain a social life. But, it's something I love doing and wouldn't give it up for the world.

I started college as soon as I graduated high school and immediately knew I wanted to be a nurse. I wasn't sure on what type of nurse I wanted to be, but I figured it out once I helped deliver a baby during my internship. I did four years of college and then nursing school. Not the mention my internship for two years and then I finally was able to become a labor and delivery nurse at my local hospital.

I drive home with the windows slightly down, feeling the brisk cool air flows through the windows. Although I love what I do I still feel like it consumes my entire life sometimes. Trying to manage my personal life from my work life is difficult and my mental health hasn't been the best lately. I catch myself worrying a lot and shutting myself off from the rest of the world.

"Little Lies" by Fleetwood Mac plays from my stereo as I tap my hand to the beat of the song on my steering wheel. I softly hum the song, trying to let all the stress on my mind go away.

I pull up to my flat and park my car in the small driveway in front. As I walk through the door my cat Willow greets me at the door.

"Hello my little Willow tree." I say with a smile as she purrs beneath me. I adopted Willow from a shelter about a year ago. She helps a lot with my anxiety and has kind of been my emotional support animal. I pet her tan fur before she scurries off into my bedroom. I grab my bag and place it on the counter before analyzing the messy kitchen in front of me.

"Jesus I need to do the dishes." I say to myself, seeing the mess of dishes all over the counter and in the sink. I'm extremely tired and haven't been able to do anything but sleep for the past week in my spare time. I thought nursing school was difficult and time consuming but I was completely wrong.

I decide I need to at least try and clean the place up a bit before taking a shower and eating dinner. I hear my phone vibrate in my bag so I walk over to it and grab it. I immediately answer and put it on speaker the moment I see who's calling.

"Hello Rosie." I say into the phone as I start scrubbing at on of the dishes in the sink.

"Hello to my best friend in the entire world." Rosalie says into the phone making me chuckle.

"What are you up to?" I ask as I open the dish washer and place the now semi clean dish into it.

"At this super lame party wishing you were here getting drunk with me but I know you have a big girl job and can never see your friends anymore." She says jokingly making me roll my eyes with a smile.

"I have priorities now Rosie you know this." I say to her knowing she's probably wasted and won't remember this conversation in the morning.

"I know but I still miss your ass. Please promise you'll make time this weekend to hang out." She pouts into the phone making me laugh.

"I promise I have the weekends off from now on so we will have more time to do stuff like we used to." I say into the phone, grabbing the next dish and scrubbing it with soap and water.

"Thank God I was starting to think I would never see you again." She slurs into the phone.

"You'll see me in a couple days okay?" I say as I stop washing dishes for a second so I can talk to her.

"Okay I better bitch. Love you see you Saturday." She slurs before we say our goodbyes and hang up the phone.

I finally finish washing dishes and cleaning up the kitchen a bit before I decide to hop in the shower. One thing I love doing after work is showering. It helps relieve my stress from the day and makes all the thoughts I have leave my head.

Once I'm done I decide to heat up left overs from yesterday and eat that so I can climb into bed and get ready for a long shift tomorrow. Tomorrow we have to deliver two sets of twins. So I need as much sleep as I can get so I don't fall over and die in the morning. One thing about me is I am absolutely not a morning person. I can get a full nights rest and still want to die in a hole waking up before seven in the morning.

I eat the last bit of my ramen before putting out food for Willow and running into bed. I put on some random rom com and I feel my eyes getting heavy. Willow jumps into bed after eating dinner and comes and lays right next to my head. She always lays right in front of my face when I sleep which I find so adorable. I adopted her when she was only eight weeks old so she is attached to my hip.

"Goodnight my willow tree." I say giving her a quick kiss on the head before rolling over on to my side and closing my eyes.

Although I'm always tired, going to sleep recently has been a challenge. I'm up worrying about things I need to get done in the short amount of time I get after work. Plus my job is stressful as it is and I never see my friends or family anymore. My mum is always used to call me when I had anxiety. Not anymore though.

I will say I have gotten better about dealing with my inner emotions. I can realize when I'm not okay instead of trying to convince myself I am. I probably should talk to someone about it but I never have time to and honestly I have never been the type to talk about how I feel. It's just easier to tuck it away and deal with it when I get home and I'm alone.

I usually talk to Rosalie about how I feel but since I have been working so much, and she works from home so I don't get to really see her as much as I would want. But I finally have the weekends off from now on so I can finally get back to having a somewhat normal life.

Or so I hope.

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Hope you all enjoy! Things will definitely pick up in the next couple chapters just have to get the story started ;)!

-syd