i know it's for the better

hoe life or no life

marlene mckinnons whore: not really, alby's in love w you.
marlene mckinnons whore: has been for years tbh

sirius blacks slut: No he's not.
sirius blacks slut: I'm going to watch Brooklyn 99 by myself and you can't come anymore, you're uninvited.

marlene mckinnons whore: that's fine because do you know who just invited me into her bed????

sirius blacks slut: Who???

marlene mckinnons whore: your sister🤭

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[ Victoria's secret keepers ]
( sonya & harriet )
4:20pm

hazzbomb: LMFAO ITS 420
hazzbomb: also can you tell ur bitch of a brother to unblock me

sunny: i would but that would require me to actually text him, and i can't fathom having to read his text messages.
sunny: i never know what he's trying to say

hazzbomb: fr we need to get him some tone indicators or something

sunny: well since newt isn't all up your ass today bc your his only friend
sunny: do you wanna come to the drive in with me?

hazzbomb: sure, what are they playing tonight?

sunny: coraline

hazzbomb: say no more, my credit card is all yours for snacks.

sunny: perf see you in an hour<33333

-

[ new chat! ]
4:47pm

harriet: are you at your dorm right now?????

minho: yeah, newts been giving me the side eye bc i keep humming along to the brooklyn 99 theme song everytime i see it come up on his laptop.
minho: he's got his headphones in so i imagine im completely missing the right parts.

harriet: no yeah i can tell youre not musically gifted.

minho: i'm gifted in everything else
minho: like getting the ladies into my bed😉😉

harriet: okay yeah i don't like where this conversation has turned to, so i'll just skip to the part where i want you to do something for me.
harriet: can you tell newt to unblock me

minho: he says no.
minho: he also let out a string of very british curse words that im not sure i can pronounce.

harriet: tell him he's a butt

-

[ Ryan and Sharpay Evans ]
5:00pm

sexy sibling: NEWT
sexy sibling: BOY I NEED HELP RIGHT NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO PLEASE ANSWER ME

smarter sibling: If you got your head stuck in another railing, it's your own problem, I'm not coming down with baby oil to get you out again.