The Carrero Contract - Amending Agreements (Book 2 of Contract Trilogy)

30

'Don't know what you mean. It's all business over here,' I answer airily. I won't show even Mico that he's getting to me. I am done being second guessed when it comes to my feelings for that man.

'Sure, it is. You two are so alike sometimes, it's terrifying.' He watches Alexi intensely and I focus on his profile instead as he then scans the room and comes back to my face.

'Please ... I am not a raving sociopath who beats people out of some sense of ownership.' I feel a little insulted to get that comparison.

'He doesn't think sometimes, Camilla. He reacts. Jealous and overprotective ... You care about him, he cares about you, yet for some reason, neither of you are capable of putting down the guns for five minutes to see what could be.' Mico looks right at me with a frown across that handsome brow as though trying to push the point, and I just shake my head at him. Wrinkling that forehead as his frown deepens but it just annoys me on some level and I sigh heavily at him.

'It's frustrating to watch.' He adds with a nudge against me as though it's going to soften me in some way.

'That's a lie ... I told him I loved him, then he let me use HIS gun on MY self. Please don't try to make me feel something for him again. It's dead ... this is only about the club, or else I wouldn't be here. What he did in Miami was inexcusable and controlling, as usual; Nothing else.' Despite how cold I sound, Mico has touched a nerve and any time I think about that night I get the same panging ache in my heart. That little hurt I just cannot let go of.

Alexi hurt me, he broke me, and when I threw myself at his feet, he let me rot. It's the one factor that keeps me clinging to my loathing of the man.

I won't ever forget that and it's behind every resentment I feel for him. If he cared about me, even a tiny ounce of a sliver, he would have come to the hospital to see if I was okay ... but he didn't. Cracked my skull and left me there, after pushing me to the verge of dying. He didn't have enough remorse to even muster being by my bedside for thirty seconds, to make sure I would live, and it's with me all the time.

Mico exhales heavily, clearly frustrated.

'Camilla, open your eyes. Alexi doesn't waste his time on people he gives no shits about, yet he protects you at every turn. The girls ... he's obviously no interest in them, so I am guessing he asked for them to just piss you off.' He nods back his way a lot more forcefully.

'What are you talking about?' I turn to Alexi and watch him for a moment as he pushes the brunette who's slid onto his lap off, and shoves her away harshly. No nice and friendly manner when dealing with fuck buddies anyway. Picks up his drink and puts his foot on the table so she can't do it again. He doesn't look like a man who is enjoying the female adoration, and as he is normally exactly that type of man, it stops me in my tracks. I have no response.

Maybe he's just not in the mood and maybe they aren't his type.

'He pushed you away to protect himself, and you. Everything he has done has been his fucked-up way of trying to handle a situation, badly. I didn't get it at first ... not until you were gone.'

I look at him like he has two heads. Not pulled in by this BS and definitely not about to fall for some touching deeper understanding of his cousin. Alexi lacks depth ... there is no hidden emotional layer. I have found that out time and time again.

'Humiliating me and making me feel worthless? That's not keeping me safe, that's just a sadist who likes to screw your head up. He doesn't get off on physically hurting women; he gets off on control and destruction of their emotions and mind. Mico, I adore you ... but please. When it comes to Alexi just accept that I will never let him hurt me again, and you don't know the half of what he did to me, only what you witnessed. Your loyalty is cute but misguided, and Alexi is just a cold bastard who sees dollar signs written all over me. I can live with that, I have accepted it is what it is. What I mean to him.' I pat him affectionately on the shoulder. Pushing down all he's making me feel and refusing to get mad or upset at this. I slide past behind him, signalling the end of this stressful conversation, to see what the girl at the bar is flapping her hands at. She is waving at me erratically and distracting me, thankfully. Mico just lets me walk off with a lingering look of mild agitation and am relieved to let that topic go to bed.