is that a thneed you have? well i'll be damned.
i bet you didn't know my boyfriend, the onceler actually invented the thneed.
yeah.
haters can suck a cock.
anyway, i cut down trees for a living and then i met the onceler, than we started cutting down trees together, then the onceler confessed his feelings for me and we got married lol.
we got married on a beach of thneeds and then we had a baby.
but fuck the lord, of course it wasn't a normal baby, it was a thneed baby!
then i died of air pollution and the onceler had a change of heart or whatever and started planting trees with some kid named ted, his hot girlfriend aubrey and teds #girlboss grandmother.
the end
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not proof read lmao
word count: 135
