I remember one time that I was looking outside the back door, waiting for him to arrive. As I watched the birds fly in freedom, atmosphere cool and breezy from the summer wind, the sun was setting and was giving the most beautiful glow that made even the corroded roofs vibrant and bright. I was not able to see the sunset but I could just see in my mind the sun setting on its beautiful way, not ever failing to amaze me. It's profound beauty has captured my eyes so many times and I always see it as a very good thing. A beautiful thing to wait for every end of the day and just love it by its natural way.
"The sunset must be very beautiful, isn't it?" I remember telling him that. He agreed and we were once again deep on our infinite universe we alone share with delight.
Now, I can say the same thing except its the sun set. The end. The letting go of something I've always awed and loved shining every time.
I love you, but i'll let you go.
Those were the words I believe we both said, coated by the hurtful words on the 27th. The end of uilius thoughts came through and through until today, where i'm still in pain of what seems like that morning's pain.
And on my dark, blue-plush aperture, I imagine stars surround me sometimes. Stars where it reflected the sky we both once looked upon. And as I look, they were all shining just like him every day doing the simplest gestures he make. And I loved him for what he was, for what he showed.
Letting go is tricky because you wanted to be comforted by the person that hurt you, but at the same time, you don't. Because you know they might again hurt you worse than what it already is, and you are now protecting yourself with doubts pushing against your barrier to forgive and forget.
I realized that not all beautiful things can be mine, like the sunset. Sometimes, it has to go away to steer me back to reality and what I've been missing: myself.
