𝑀𝑦 𝐴𝑑𝑣𝑖𝑐𝑒: 𝑀𝑦 𝐸𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠 𝑆ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑌𝑜𝑢

𝐀𝐝𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 (𝟏) 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬

Question: What makes a great relationship and how can I keep it healthy?

Disclaimer: This is a common question for anyone who is in a long-term relationship. My answer may not be the answer you're looking for but it could encourage you! Everyone has their right to an opinion and I am speaking from experience. I do not know everything.

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From my recent years as a teenager and becoming a young adult, I learned that everyone is going to go their separate ways at some point (sometimes), no matter if the person might seem right for you. What's scary is that they can change in the blink of an eye and the relationship can be split in two.

I lost a relationship in high school because he chose to go down a very toxic path such as abusing drugs and alcohol. For myself, I let go of the relationship because I am not a user of any kind and I don't plan to do that. So, my ex became an addict and I am ALWAYS sober 24/7/365...

People who want to abuse substances are one of the biggest reasons why a lot of relationships don't work out in the long run unless the other partner is the same way. In my personal opinion, substances will ruin a relationship... no one can change my views on that. When someone is under the influence, it is no longer that person speaking, you're talking to the drug or the alcohol...

Self-respect was lacking in that old high school relationship of mine. I didn't allow myself to grow, I didn't want to explore other things, and I feel like I missed out, so I somewhat feel regret from that relationship, yet I learned so much about myself.

When you don't have the same beliefs, things can get difficult, too. I grew up knowing who Jesus is throughout my life and you have a right to your opinion on that as well, but this is what I know... When two people are equally yoked, meaning they are on the same page in regards to knowing Jesus, it is likely they will work out, depending on their life goals and what-not. Everyone is different. Sometimes, people who have the same beliefs may not work out either because they have something personal going on or they are not who they want in a partner... if that makes sense.

Now how did I end up making my relationship of one year work?

Well, James and I got to know one another first before even dating. We ended up getting to know what triggers our anger, what we dislike, and how we respond to certain things - pretty much looking at the things that a lot of people don't observe during a new relationship. We realized that communication, trust, honesty, and generosity are very important in a relationship. Not just that, but keeping Jesus as a priority.

What a lot of people don't talk about is how to speak to the person. We are supposed to be patient and bring them upward, not bring them down. Discouragement only declines the health of the relationship.  

James and I also acknowledge each other's issues and we fix them together rather than go silent and bottle up emotions. Once emotions are bottled up, someone in the relationship can explode their late/old/unnecessary problems into brand new ones later. It's best to solve the problem at the moment rather than let it continue and grow from there or else it will be an annoyance later on.  

We say 'I love you' all of the time and... well, it's just different for everyone - I am almost 23, and this advice could be different for younger people.

Take this advice however you want to. I am sharing this to be encouraging, not to tell you to do something, but these are just some of the things that helped my relationship with my partner. We only had ONE disagreement throughout 365 days.

If you have patience, then that means you have love and love does not disappoint.