[Play: Before it sinks in by Moira Dela Torre] para feel mo yung scene choss. And btw, this part is not a paumaj one shot hehe.
[THIS IS NOT PROOF READ/EDITED]
EMMA'S POV
"EMMA gusto mo bang... ikaw ang mag make-up sa Mama mo?" Mahinahong tanong ni Manay sa akin habang hawak hawak ang litrato ni Camila. We're here outside the Morgue hesitating to come inside to look at Camila's breathless body.
Silence.
I can't even give them concrete answer. They want me to make-up my mother as if it was easy for me. I want to, but I can't. I already did this to Papa, kahit masakit but now I can't do it again. Especially if it is Camila.
"Maiwan muna kita Emma. Aasikasuhin ko lang ang..." Manay broke the long silence to wipe her tears before looking at Camila's face in the picture frame. "...ang death certificate ng Mama mo." As soon as she said that my tears started running down my cheeks. It broke me. Who would have wanted to bury their mother 6 feet below the ground after everything they've done?
I simply nodded while looking at the word 'Morgue' above the door. Niyakap niya ako patagilid bago umalis para asikasuhin ang... magiging lamay ni Mama.
I composed myself before entering the Morgue. I have to see her. I want to see her even if it hurts. My tears won't stop running down my cheeks as I look at Camila's cold body covered with white cloth. My knees trembled but I still managed to come near her cold body.
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I can't count my tears anymore. The more I step forward to see her, the more my heart aches. I can't imagine my life without Camila. She's my everything. She's my mother even if I'm not her real daughter. She saved me countless times already.
I removed the white cloth and as soon as I saw how pale and cold her body was, I can't help but to breakdown. Memories of her wiping my mouth while I eat my food at the karenderya near the church, comes rushing back to me.
I couldn't take it anymore. My legs were shaking. "MAMAAAAA" I cried louder, yelling, and screaming until there was nothing left to say. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I whispered repeatedly.
She saved me again. She sacrifice her life for me. She knew that I will hate her again if she didn't do anything to save Elias and his father, if ever. Alam niyang magagalit ako sa kaniya kapag pati si Elias ay mawala narin sa akin pagkatapos ni Papa.
But No. I can't hate her. I'm just mad at her during that time. I made sure that she will get hurt by every painful words I throw to her. I blamed her... for everything. Sinisi ko siya dahil wala akong masisi. And now, I regret it.
"We were supposed to celebrate Papa's birthday right?" My voice broke when I held her cold hand and squeeze it. "Luna and I.... are now friends." My vision got dark as I talk to a person who can't even hear me anymore. Blurred. I can't see her face anymore because my tears are blocking my eyesight.
I am at the stage of acceptance. Papunta na dapat ako sa kaniya noon para sabihing pinapatawad ko na siya. Pero iba ang nadatnan ko. She left me before I could even say the word 'I love you'
As soon as I hugged her, I cried louder when I couldn't hear her heartbeat anymore. I'm not used to it. Dati yakap yakap ko siya tuwing umiiyak siya, I can still feel her heartbeat that time. Yung puso niyang nababalot ng iba't ibang emosyon. Galit, poot, hinagpis, hinanakit. Ngayon wala na.
