Nalani

Go to the beach. And walk in the water blindfolded. You just keep walking, you don't know where you are going. You just know you're going deeper. That's what the build up to cutting feels like. You don't know where you're going. Depression has blinded you. All you know is you're going deeper. Now just keep going down until you drown. You want air, you want relief, you don't want to be drowning anymore. Now imagine someone pulls you out of the water. That's what cutting is. Relief. Relief from all the pain you've been drowning in. Relief from not being good enough. Relief from the bullies at school. Relief from feeling like you're fat. Relief from your imperfections and insecurities. You might find cutting disgusting and you might never understand it.. but when you're drowning, you need saving. You need relief. So what is cutting like? It's relief.

Old account name: nalanie_