I read the first chapter of your story, and I got to say... ehh. It wasn't bad, I think it would have been great, if you would have written it on your computer. It is so much better to write a story on a laptop or computer, than a small phone or tablet. It gives you more options and not to be mean, but your story (just when you looked at it) it seemed really boring. That's because you had NO paragraphs at all, and it looked all close together. To me, it seemed boring. That's because I'm too lazy to go and read the whole thing, when it's in paragraphs it looks much better. I think your story (the whole idea of it) is pretty good. (: xx
