"Alexia's POV
Its been nine days since Jayden had his car accident, and sitting here beside his bed i cant help the feelings of impotence on my part, i feel absolutely useless, knowing that i cant do anything to wake him up. I promised myself that i wouldn't cry anymore, but yet as i sit here staring at his peaceful face, i can feel the tears pooling in my eyes. Ive cried so much over the last few days, the realization that i love him and need him with me hit me hard, and then with the unexpected pregnancy, it seems my emotions are all over the place.
Last night i was sorting through some of Ryder's toys and i came across a monkey teddy bear, Jayden bought him when we went out for the day to the zoo. Thinking back to that day, it felt like a life time ago, instead of mealy weeks. We've been through so much since then,most of it bad, so thinking back to a happier time, had me clutching to the teddy for dear life, as i sobbed unrestrained for how my life is spiraling out of control, and i can do nothing to stop it.
Looking at him now, even with the bandages covering some of his face, hes still the most beautiful and breathe taking person Ive ever laid eyes on. I can picture what our life could be like, with two children, getting married and living happily together. Then self doubt slip into my mind, and i wonder if Jayden still wants me as much as i want him. I know hes told me he loves me time and time again, but i cant help feeling maybe hes changed his mind, and his feelings have changed.
Shaking my head at the path of my thoughts i go in search of the doctor, so far shes given Jayden a couple of brain scans, the first showed swelling on his brain, but a couple of days later, the swelling had reduced. I need to know why if the swellings reduced, he still hasn't opened his eyes. I know shes explained that he'll wake up when his bodies ready, but sitting here staring at him is making me anxi..." http://wattpad.com/story/4233312
