Kat

a year. a year since my mother died. almost. a year since I last posted. life. is extremely crazy. Genuinely. I miss my mother more and more each day and now that I am twenty one I am scared. I am terrified. I’m attempting to have my life what I want it to be and i’ve grown so much in a little under a year. finished highschool and now i’m starting my second year of college. in just a year. the amount of work my life’s been going in. I hope to make my mother proud. 

if I put energy into what I want to create. instead of other peoples energy. I can grow. 

I'm burnt out

the tune of the bass beneath my ears is a world so soothing. 

art is what you create. but an artist is who you are. an artist doesn’t always have to create, or do it at all. it’s the mindset in which your art form comes from. 

i’d rather smoke than do anything else 

i can’t believe i used to think of small trivial things as if they’d ruin my life and I was “broken” I wish kids would just. be kids. I don’t think i’d ever be a good mother, i mean actually. I think I would be an amazing mother. 
          
          But i’m a sinking ship. I’m 20, i want to grieve my mom, save up for a house. Live my life the way I want. I don’t think having a child would be what’s for me. I think my life is meant for something else significant. 
          
          I don’t know what yet, however I hope I create something significant with the life I have. 

it’s really kind of like therapy. to go back. look at this stuff. and re read my thoughts over the years. 
          
          i miss my mom. so much. I would do anything to be able to hear her I love you one more time. 
          
          I’m just glad that the last thing she ever told me was I love you. 
          
          I love you brandy. i’m 

i just want to protect him like how he protects me. 

i miss you mom. it doesn’t feel real.