Jake Grey

You enter my room. Looking around, you notice an "about me" and head towards it. As you get closer it begins to speak.
'Oh, hello,' it speaks. 'It's great to meet you. So good to see you've made it this far.'
You stare expectantly, waiting for it to continue. When it doesn't say anything else you frown slightly. What's happened? Is it bugged? You begin to turn away and it starts up again.
'Oh, sorry. Were you expecting more? Some kind of description of self, or a miniature life story, perhaps?'
You nod slowly and with caution.
'Ah, well. You know what they say. Life truly is full of disappointments.'