chicken burrito

hi sexy people, you peeps might have forgotten about me but I'm not dead HA HA. i am however, very sad because when i went to talk to my mom I accidentally left our gate open (we have a homemade dog gate that blocks our big ass dogs from going to the kitchen/hallway/bathroom/my room) because I'm such a smart person, and my asshat dog (im allowed to call him an asshat atm, you would too, man.) went on my bed, took my chicken sandwich off of my bed, unraveled the chicken sandwich, ate said chicken sandwich, and left the damn wrapper on the floor. bro was walking back into the living room licking his lips when I realized he just ate my happiness. I DIDNT EVEN GET A BITE BRO. I will now be dreaming of the tasty goodness I never had because fat ass has to eat all my food. and I am totally allowed to call him a fat ass, homie would eat me if I was a chicken sandwich :(

oh how I've missed this <3

THESE ARE SO FUNNY WHAT THE HECK

A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually.

          A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.
          
          One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
          
          The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."
          
          The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child."

You’ve been chosen to be showered with love (:
          
          Post this on the of everyone who you think deserves the world
          
          If you get 1 back- you’re loved 
          If you get 2 back- you’re popular 
          If you get 3 back- you’re one of the most loved people
          If you get 9 back- wow I’m jealous 
          
          Don’t break the chain (:

You've been chosen to be showered with love :)
          
          Post this on the wall of everyone who you think deserves the world.
          
          If you get 1 back - you're loved
          If you get 2 back - you're popular
          If you get 3 back - you're one of the most loved people
          If you get 9 back - wow I'm jealous
          
          Don't break the chain :) 

you've been chosen to be showered with love :)
          
          post this on the wall of everyone who you think deserves the world
          
          if you get 1 back- you're loved
          if you get 2 back- you're popular
          if you get 3 back- you're one of the most loved people
          if you get 9 back- wow I'm jealous
          
          don't break the chain :)

Y'all i just got contacts IM NOT A BLIND BITCH ANYMOREEEE I can actually see shit now. Who knew clouds and trees had so much details and weren't just blobs.

@TheOfficialLeg YESSSSSSS *clap clap*