𝘙.𝘈.𝘌

I’m going to make this short. The infection I mentioned in my last announcement has come back. It landed me in the emergency room as it did the first time. Please forgive me for the inconvenience but I can’t update Spoiled right now. I don’t know when I’ll feel better and have the motivation to write. For right now, all I need is rest. The antibiotics I’m on will last ten days. However, I don’t know when the motivation will come back—so bear with me.

I apologize in advance if any chapters of Spoiled are late. They’re currently being published every Wednesday at 6 AM MDT. Life is truly hectic and I’m just a depressed mess, not to mention I’m recovering from being sick with a brutal infection that landed me in the emergency room. So much is happening, so much that needs my attention. The only time I feel alive is when I’m talking with my best friend and writing a world in which I don’t exist. Because of my struggles and lack of motivation, chapters may be slow. You may suggest publishing on my own time, and that is an option, but I feel more stressed in that scenario than not having a scheduled publish date. Having a deadline is a motivator to get things done. Even so, real-life stressors and struggles are a huge part of my motivation. 
          
          I hope you’re all well. Stay hydrated and rest when you need it. <3

With being consistent about plotting my upcoming BokuAka story for the past few weeks, I’ve found it harder to write without a clear plan. How long has it been since I last updated Dark Matter? A month. That’s the same shit that’s happening with Tangled Emotions, and those stories — all of the others on my profile — were written without a plotting/outlining technique. I simply “went with the flow” and wrote whatever I wanted to. Now I see why they failed in most cases. I’ve been TRYING to pick up where I left off in Dark Matter but it’s just so hard because my mind has gotten so used to this new technique that it’s not working for me anymore, going with the flow.
          
          This is NOT me saying that I’m removing Dark Matter because I’m not. This is just me saying that I will be rewriting the story using this new plotting/outlining technique. And the title may be rethought… and I was thinking “Heartsore”. I want there to be dark romance, tense moments, situations of life and death, and of course, a ton of angst. Plotting the story this way is a great way to keep everything in line and better to understand. 
          
          Hope you are all doing well, my lovelies. Just keep being patient with me and all shall return to normal soon <3

I have nothing to say, just that I found a spider crawling in and around the keys of my lit-up keyboard. 
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          If I have to suffer knowing this, so do you <3

One word: BokuAka
          
          No, your eyes do not deceive you. Yes, you saw that right. It’s about damn time they get some recognition from me, and I couldn’t be prouder about where it’s going. I’m only plotting for now, and I just now started working on Chapter Three. The first two chapters are a success and I can’t wait to get to writing, but everyone knows… for a good result, you need to take your time and be patient, trusting the process. If anyone’s curious about what I’m going for, “Spoiled brat x Mean & grumpy”. My original plan was to make Akaashi an anxious mess, but I do that too often so I thought, why not do something different? After a bit of thinking, that came to mind. At first, this was going to be strictly fluffy with bits of angst thrown here and there… But then I thought, “Maybe a tiny rivalry of some sort? Maybe Akaashi doesn’t like Bo’s attitude so they start off disliking each other when they’re partnered for the rest of the year.” The fluff will come eventually, I just personally don’t know when. And I know I say this a lot but now is my chance to do a slow burn correctly. It’ll be hard since I just wanna… Dive into their relationship and get to the good parts. 
          
          Anyway, yeah, I’m pretty excited. And the plotting process is fun, it’s bearable which I normally can’t plot past the first few actions of Chapter One. I’m a hardcore pantser but I’m learning ^-^
          
          If this fails, I'm jumping off a bridge.

!!IMPORTANT!!
          
          I need to take a break. I know this is terrible timing, but I must focus on my health. To put it simply, my heart has gone haywire in the past week and I’ve had three scares with symptoms of a heart attack following these incidents. All three of these times, I have fallen into atrial fibrillation(A-Fib) which is a heart rate greater than 140 beats per minute(bpm). Atrial fibrillation is a serious condition and if left untreated, you’re at a greater risk of stroke or heart attack. And for those who don’t know, I have a rare and complex disorder called Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia(IST) which occurs in 1% of the middle-aged population, mainly in women. I’m only 19 and have had this since at least 10 years old. If you don’t know what IST is, please look it up so you have a general idea. For most people, it doesn’t affect their lives, but for me? It leaves me in shambles on bad days. I will be seeing my electrophysiologist in a month, though I’m going to try and see if I can get in to see him sooner because he has a busy schedule. 
          
          From now till I don’t know when I will be taking a break from Wattpad altogether so I can focus on keeping my heart rate down and not die. I’m really sorry, but I need to put myself first.

Hello! I have posted the gender-bent story to chapter five, and more chapters will come! There is a Spotify playlist for this story to keep me hyped and motivated, so check it out. The link will be in my bio <3
          
          And the cover and title are still a work in progress… I changed the title and cover three times lol

Does anyone play Genshin Impact and/or Honkai Star Rail? I need friends with those games in common because I only have one friend who plays Genshin. She’s not so much a fan of HSR but I sure am. I’ve been playing since the month after the release of the game. Playing HSR opened my horizons to Genshin and now I’m playing almost daily but don’t really know how to navigate it. I’m either level 22 or 23 in Genshin and level 65(almost 66) in Honkai Star Rail
          
          My HSR main: 607219772
          
          My Genshin main: 672001361
          
          If anyone is interested and plays either one of these games, friend me ^-^

I know this is a bad idea, but I really wanna give y'all a sneak peek of this upcoming gender-bent story. And just so you know ahead of time, this story will be both SemiShira and SakuAtsu, so I'll be switching between their POVs. Hopefully, you enjoy this little teaser of the first chapter and that it keeps me motivated to keep writing, depending on the response it gets ^-^
          
          Grabbing my watermelon-flavored Trident gum, I open the wrapping and toss it into my mouth. Just as I begin to think I’m ready to go out with my friends, someone bangs on the bathroom door, making my body jerk in surprise. I don’t need to look out the bathroom to know who it is. “Jesus, Kazz! I’m almost done!” I say aloud, adjusting my ponytail and tightening it. My hand reaches for the silver doorknob and twists it, pulling it open to reveal my irritated older brother who towers over me in his six-foot-five frame. To say I hate being five-foot-four would be an understatement. This man shamelessly surpassed our dad in height at the age of seventeen, and now he’s stuck like that. A menacing, yet unstable twenty-year-old. 
          
          Before the dark brunette has a chance to speak, I lift my finger and he quickly shuts his mouth. “You need to get your bathroom fixed. I’m tired of sharing my pride and joy with you, a nasty and miserable scoundrel who finds pleasure in leaving the toilet seat up.” I’ve since been done counting the times I’ve encountered that problem. Sometimes twice a day and it doesn’t seem to stick when I tell him to stop. It’s so gross…
          
          “Well sorry, I have short-term memory loss.”
          
          “Don’t quote Dory.”
          
          “...I have no excuse.”

Genuine question (don’t come at me for this). Would anyone be interested in the bottoms being genderbent? I’m curious to see who is okay with it and who’s not because I know it seems a little weird? But seriously, these are fictional characters and they don’t necessarily need to stay one gender in fanfiction… Lmao me trying to back up this idea so no one gets mad at me because the idea of even asking scares the absolute crap outta me. 
          
          So, that said, what do y’all think? I want to try something different and out of my comfort zone.