this message may be offensive
small rant because I’m in need of advice: is anyone else so disgustingly jealous of hermione granger? She’s so pretty and I just want to look like her i wish i looked like her. And shes so loved. She has loving parents, a loving older brother like friend, and her soulmate Ron. No one would ever cry for me like Ron did when Hermione was being tortured. I know what you’re thinking and yes that was more severe because it was a matter of life and death, but I genuinely almost died multiple times last year and almost had to go to the hospital and no one really gave a shit. My dad cared more than my (now ex) friends did. I know this is a selfish thing to say too, but I wish I could go back to when my mom just hated me and that was that. Everything’s so stupid complicated now because she says she loves me. She has changed I admit, but it took her three years of me suffering for her to change. I may not hate her, but what if I don’t want to forgive her? Am I being petty? There were good moments I know, but I tried to take my own life multiple times because of her and I don’t know how to move past that. I can’t move past that. I think I just want someone to grieve me, to grieve who I was. No one has ever really cared when I go through those intense lows even though I’m nice to everyone I meet even the people mean to me. Am I doing something wrong? Am I overthinking everything again? Is it such a crime to say I don’t want to be responsible and move on from what my mom did. I never got to mourn the death of who I was and no one ever mourned for me, so I’m stuck in this stupid inbetween.