Turd Ferguson

I'm kind of a big deal.

I eat success for breakfast... with skim milk.

I have the reflexes of a cat and the speed of a mongoose.

It makes me aerodynamic when I fight.

I killed a great white shark. I knocked out his teeth and I ripped out his heart.

In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland.

I used to be legit. I was too legit. I was too legit to quit.

I know you. You know you. And I know you know that I know you.

When I die, on my deathbed, I will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me.

Whenever there is a meeting, a parting is sure to follow. However, that parting need not last forever... Whether a parting be forever or merely for a short time... That is up to you.


If by any chance you took the time to read all of the above crap and know where any of it is from, we just became best friends and can now do karate in the garage.