MoonbeamHeldHigh

Life for me has changed so drastically these past few month,s and healing takes on a kind of glowing light that encircles you, even when the world is such a bleak and desolate thought. "But he traded everything for suffering, and found himself alone". I'm beginning to come to terms with the pain that held me for close to two years now, and I realize it doesn't necessarily become easier as you go, more so it begins to form new ideals in your life and stance. He may of went to a grave last March, but the property is so breathtaking now and such a wonderful angel of an individual graces those long ago haunted hallways. I never imagined stepping foot there again would make me smile, but for such shocking reasons lost on me it has. I changed so much about myself, and I found myself all that much closer to closure.

MoonbeamHeldHigh

Life for me has changed so drastically these past few month,s and healing takes on a kind of glowing light that encircles you, even when the world is such a bleak and desolate thought. "But he traded everything for suffering, and found himself alone". I'm beginning to come to terms with the pain that held me for close to two years now, and I realize it doesn't necessarily become easier as you go, more so it begins to form new ideals in your life and stance. He may of went to a grave last March, but the property is so breathtaking now and such a wonderful angel of an individual graces those long ago haunted hallways. I never imagined stepping foot there again would make me smile, but for such shocking reasons lost on me it has. I changed so much about myself, and I found myself all that much closer to closure.

MoonbeamHeldHigh

Life for me has changed so drastically these past few month,s and healing takes on a kind of glowing light that encircles you, even when the world is such a bleak and desolate thought. "But he traded everything for suffering, and found himself alone". I'm beginning to come to terms with the pain that held me for close to two years now, and I realize it doesn't necessarily become easier as you go, more so it begins to form new ideals in your life and stance. He may of went to a grave last March, but the property is so breathtaking now and such a wonderful angel of an individual graces those long ago haunted hallways. I never imagined stepping foot there again would make me smile, but for such shocking reasons lost on me it has. I changed so much about myself, and I found myself all that much closer to closure.

MoonbeamHeldHigh

I Will Never Be Voiceless, Not Then, And Not Ever Again. I'm Finding My Own Voice, My Own Ground, And By Hell I'm Never Submitting Back. I Won't Be Left Defenseless, For I Hold Enough Strength To Fight Alone. I'm Not Making Conversation, But I Will Buy My Fate, And I'm Never Lost And Found Another Time.

MoonbeamHeldHigh

Tomorrow marks the first and the last day, one that makes me saddened yet painfully delighted. I couldn't believe what happened the past 6 months, and honestly, some aspects I would have changed around a full 360. Several deaths in the family, are easily something I would of erased. If I was smart, I would of rid myself of the toxic relationships and friendships way earlier, because in the eyes of everyone around me they saw how dangerous it was, and I was meekly blinded by infatuation to turn a blind eye to your manipulative natures. I can now look back on many of my choices this past year literally, and see the complete flip I became. Im more at ease, and less fearful of this world. Im not controlled anymore by a suffocating vise, and I'm so far in happiness it seems impossible compared to where I've been most of my life, it not all of it. I don't miss my past per say, I just miss some of the choices I should have made to avoided unnecessarily heartache and sending my mind into a whirlwind. 
          
          ~Moon 8.13.17

MoonbeamHeldHigh

December 2017, a lot of things are changing, and a lot of things for the better. People who make me smile, will be a lot closer to me, and those I can live without left far behind. For the first time everything has finally fallen together in my life, and Im shocked and amazed at everything I discovered I would have. When you give up a fake love and open yourself to the real thing, it is enough to erase all the other heartaches. Im excited to leave this city behind, because I know my engagement can last me a lifetime, as long as its with him. I see him in December, after months of waiting, and I can't believe Wednesday (7.26.17) marks 4 Months with him, it only feels like weeks, but I guess that what love does, it hides times and marks it by the smiles. Every 7 hour Discord call, every message and nights we spend talking until 7 am, are the pieces I will treasure. Him and I share our own love story, and both of us know the pains of heartbreak, so we hold one another's hearts so fondly. He makes me laugh like no-one else, and he fell in love with me after we met because of RockStar. I cannot believe that's how it all started, and Im so amazed it did. I can give a fu** about my ex, they were just trial runs and in the end, a mere mistake of my precious time here. Waiting, and never giving them pieces of me I would've regretted, make me smile because I know true and real love, and what I felt those, simply were nothing compared to this one.  And come May, 2018 I leave this state and happily find myself with someone who gives me the world, even from a distance. I love you Joseph, hehe <3

MoonbeamHeldHigh

RIP Horacio... It was an amazing time we shared, and I know our love was unconditional... This hurts, it really does.. I hope you're free from your demons, your struggles and your pain now...  I hope nothing but the best for you from where you are now <3 I love you Sweetheart