Leo Stableford

The man, the legend, the fugitive, the sharing platter, the antelope, el churro diablo, the en-THEWS-inator, Mr. MacDoodle Frednemenemy, that guy who didn't want to be that guy, sorry, what were we talking about?

I just zoned out there for a second and went onto a free-association of ways you could refer to an individual without actually using their name.

Oh, yes, Leo Stableford... Leo Stableford... Leeeeeeeoooooo Staaaaaaableford. What is there to say about Leo Stableford? He was a Leo, whose surname was Stableford. He stood out from the crowd... no, wait, sorry, stood *back* from the crowd due to claustrophobia. So, claustrophobia, and introversion, both things that affected where he stood in relation to crowds. Sure.

I don't know why I write "he" because, well, I am Leo Stableford. So I am writing this bio. It's pretty easy, all I have to do is make myself seem, you know, approachable, and like the kind of guy whose prose you would absolutely love to devour on a daily, weekly, monthly or annual basis.

As a writer, of course, I totally know how to do this. I am not just writing more words in an ever more incoherent stream-of-consciousness ramble because I have NO IDEA WHERE THE BRAKES ARE ON THIS MONOLOGUE.

Calm. Breathe. Calm.

Just invoke Deus Ex Machina and everything will be fine and nobody will think any less of you.

(God appears.)

GOD: Leo, stop writing now.

Oh, thanks God.