this message may be offensive
I hope to realest the feeling of shame, embarrassment, hate, irritation, disappointment, failure towards myself by venting it to all of you.
My teacher ask anyone if they knew how to dive and I raiser my hand.... big mistake... so I was ask to demonstrate and I'd get +5 grades.... I did..... they warned me it was deep.... I didn't listen.... I jump... dive... Fell in the water... couldn't feel the floor and panick.... I kick, I swam, paddle my legs, move my hand down ward to help me get up.... I almost drowned....
3 boys help me to the shore and the teacher is on the side of the pool like it is the normalest shit he has ever seen like it's a everyday thing... boi... I was scared as fuck!!! And everyone is just like "eeeeee oi lavender gets saved by 3 Prince charming" "eeeee who's your crush now?" "Eeek wow did you fake it to get attention from the boys?" "She got passed down like a ball from all 4 boys lol" BITCH I ALMOST DROWNED!!!! YOU GUYS THINK I FAKE IT?!?!? YOU GUYS FOCUS MORE ON THE EEEEEEE CRUSH AND LOVE SHIT?!?!? WHAT IF YOUR THE ONE WHO ALMOST DROWNED?!?! I WAS SCARED AS FUCK!! I FEELT WEAK!! I FEELT I WAS GOING TO DIE!!! I FEELT LIEK I WAS GOING TO FAINT!! I FEELT THE NEED TO CRY AND GO HOME AND SLEEP ON MY BED!!! I WAS SCARED!!! SCARED FOR MY LIFE!! AND NOT A SINGLR ONE OF YOU GUYS ASK OF I WAS OK?!?! YOU GUYS ASK WHO MY NEW CRUSH IS INSTEAD OF HOW I WAS DOING!!!
.......I was scared.... and you guys just... laughed at me... you guys teased me... and if I voice it out you guys would day OA! OA?!?! It translate to as a person over reacting... I hated it buy I just went along with it smiling and laughing with YOU guys.... so that I won't be an OA person... a attention seeker..