Kitkatgilmoregirl

This ISN'T me saying I'm quitting. This is me saying that I'll write when I genuinely WANT to, not because I feel OBLIGATED to by my own approval addiction. I need to relearn how to love something for the sake of the joy doing it brings me. And I need to learn how to love my stories again like I used to, so that I can write them in a way that satisfies me. Otherwise, I'll keep redoing them and never finish, because my enjoyment of them will only rely on you guys, my amazing, ever so loyal readers. I'm not dropping any stories in particular of course, but updates will only happen when I want them to. Meaning, until I learn how to love what I do again, consistency is no longer something I can guarantee. I'm genuinely sorry for doing this. I'm not sorry because of the steps I'm taking, but rather that they need to be taken at all. My approval addiction isn't something that should be negatively affecting you guys at all, but here we are. I'm truly, very, sorry. But all I can do now is improve and heal. So that is exactly what I will do. I hope to be back soon. Enjoying this again like I used to.

Kitkatgilmoregirl

Thank you so much for this well thought, well written, comment. It feels so good to see someone relate to me, even though it sucks to relate in such a way, lol. I've seen so many writers quit because of burnout, and never understood it. But as the years have gone by, it's getting harder and harder to love what I do when I feel like people love the result more than the work put into it. An understandable response, most people don't know the hours I've put into this, but still. It's definitely disheartening.
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DramaLoversDream513

@Kitkatgilmoregirl Honestly, do what's best for you. If you feel like taking a break and relearning how to love writing again is what will be best for you, totally do it. Even if you end up finding out that writing isn't actually for you.
          	  
          	  I feel like so often writers on these platforms (especially for fanfiction) grow tired and dispassionate once they hit it relatively big. So many end up burned out or just completely halting the work they were once so enthusiastic and dedicated to because it no longer feels like a hobby. By it's nature, fanfiction is something written to be SHARED but at the same time the demand and pressure of sharing your craft, your ideas, your passion, it sucks people dry. Makes them feel like an autonomous robot, spitting out chapter after chapter that doesn't feel the same anymore. Not everyone quits because of the demand, but so many do because they lose readers or feel stressed and pressured, making writing more negative than enjoyable. I've seen it happen so many times, am recently going through it, and I understand how you feel. Writing fanfiction just isn't the same anymore.
          	  
          	  Overall, writing is meant to be a release. Sharing your writing, your passion, is something you should always CHOOSE to do because you want to. If you're uncertain about that, a hundred percent put yourself first and take a break. It's better to disappear, leaving behind evidence of your craft, than to remain and feel stuck.
          	  
          	  I hope everything goes well for you in the future, no matter what you choose to do. Happiness - above all else - is important no matter who you are.
• Reply

Kitkatgilmoregirl

This ISN'T me saying I'm quitting. This is me saying that I'll write when I genuinely WANT to, not because I feel OBLIGATED to by my own approval addiction. I need to relearn how to love something for the sake of the joy doing it brings me. And I need to learn how to love my stories again like I used to, so that I can write them in a way that satisfies me. Otherwise, I'll keep redoing them and never finish, because my enjoyment of them will only rely on you guys, my amazing, ever so loyal readers. I'm not dropping any stories in particular of course, but updates will only happen when I want them to. Meaning, until I learn how to love what I do again, consistency is no longer something I can guarantee. I'm genuinely sorry for doing this. I'm not sorry because of the steps I'm taking, but rather that they need to be taken at all. My approval addiction isn't something that should be negatively affecting you guys at all, but here we are. I'm truly, very, sorry. But all I can do now is improve and heal. So that is exactly what I will do. I hope to be back soon. Enjoying this again like I used to.

Kitkatgilmoregirl

Thank you so much for this well thought, well written, comment. It feels so good to see someone relate to me, even though it sucks to relate in such a way, lol. I've seen so many writers quit because of burnout, and never understood it. But as the years have gone by, it's getting harder and harder to love what I do when I feel like people love the result more than the work put into it. An understandable response, most people don't know the hours I've put into this, but still. It's definitely disheartening.
• Reply

DramaLoversDream513

@Kitkatgilmoregirl Honestly, do what's best for you. If you feel like taking a break and relearning how to love writing again is what will be best for you, totally do it. Even if you end up finding out that writing isn't actually for you.
            
            I feel like so often writers on these platforms (especially for fanfiction) grow tired and dispassionate once they hit it relatively big. So many end up burned out or just completely halting the work they were once so enthusiastic and dedicated to because it no longer feels like a hobby. By it's nature, fanfiction is something written to be SHARED but at the same time the demand and pressure of sharing your craft, your ideas, your passion, it sucks people dry. Makes them feel like an autonomous robot, spitting out chapter after chapter that doesn't feel the same anymore. Not everyone quits because of the demand, but so many do because they lose readers or feel stressed and pressured, making writing more negative than enjoyable. I've seen it happen so many times, am recently going through it, and I understand how you feel. Writing fanfiction just isn't the same anymore.
            
            Overall, writing is meant to be a release. Sharing your writing, your passion, is something you should always CHOOSE to do because you want to. If you're uncertain about that, a hundred percent put yourself first and take a break. It's better to disappear, leaving behind evidence of your craft, than to remain and feel stuck.
            
            I hope everything goes well for you in the future, no matter what you choose to do. Happiness - above all else - is important no matter who you are.
• Reply

Kitkatgilmoregirl

Hey guys. I've realized something recently, and I think it's important that I share. My journey with writing has been firmly intertwined with others' appreciation of it. From the moment I started truly dedicating myself to writing, I wanted others to read it and tell me how good it was. When readers did, I could write ten or more chapters in a couple of days to give them more to read. When they didn't, it would send me on month long writers block. It has been an emotional Rollercoaster knowing that my writing will entirely depend on how much feedback I get. And the feedback I've gotten over the years has dwindled as readers find new hobbies and interests. Looking back at my early works, I had literally NO readers or comments, and yet I could write fifteen to twenty chapters. Why? Because I ENJOYED it. I enjoyed writing for the sake of writing. Even though the quality was terrible, and I hadn't learned a lot about writing, I was happy doing it for myself. I've only felt that feeling fleetingly recently, and I've noticed that my constant concern for you guys and how you'll feel about what I do has- not only worsened the quality of my work- but it's taken my passion for SDS away, and fanfiction as a whole. This isn't anyone's fault but my own, of course. I should never need someone else's approval for something I enjoy doing. However, I also realized a very hard conclusion when thinking about this. Something I've been too scared to do for years now. I need to take a step back and let myself be okay with the fact that I might not finish some stories. (Continue)

Kitkatgilmoregirl

Okay, so clearly, there has been a delay in updates. Lol. Basically, my schedule for writing and publishing got super off track because of some life stuff. (Aka job). But! I'm back now. Expect updates every Wednesday.

IOnlyWantToRead1

@Kitkatgilmoregirl i kinda really still need purr…. T-T
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IOnlyWantToRead1

Yeeeeessssss! I love updates! Is it going to be 2SOL again?
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Kitkatgilmoregirl

So, no update this week. Basically, a lot has happened this week and I haven't been able to do pre-planning for writing. Which means I need some time to catch up for the regular updates to start again. (Should be corrected by next week's update plan. Aka Wednesday)

TheEverlastingSpirit

@Kitkatgilmoregirl it's not a problem, take your time. ❤️
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Kitkatgilmoregirl

Sorry for the delayed update, guys. Wattpad has been glitching out on my phone, so it took a little longer to finish writing out the rest of my chapter. :(

Kitkatgilmoregirl

Haha, yeah I am. Weekly updates at Monday at 10:00am EST. This last week came out a day late though.c
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AnimefanCerberus

@Kitkatgilmoregirl OMG URT SSTILL WRITING
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Kitkatgilmoregirl

Phone is being stupid, so delayed update unfortunately. Have to wait until it finally works properly again.

IOnlyWantToRead1

@Kitkatgilmoregirl nooooooo!!! EVIL PHONEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
            
            It‘s okay :) still: I can’t wait!!! It’s so goooood!! Write faaaaaaassssster T^T
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TheEverlastingSpirit

@Kitkatgilmoregirl okay, no problem.
• Reply