Stay fab

My life:
Sleep↬ Eat ↬ Read ↬ Repeat

If you ever need nothing, I'm here for you. 

Facts about me:
① I don't give away food
② If you think I hate you, I probably do
③ My patience dies faster than my phone battery
④ I talk to myself to get expert advice
⑤ I call boys by a wrong name to remind them how unimportant they are to me
⑥ I could sleep for 2 weeks straight and still be tired
⑦ My face is a 4 + My personality is a 6 = I'm basically a 10
⑧ I love making people who already hate me hate me even more
⑨ I'm a lady in the streets, a freak at the buffet
⑩ I would wish you the best but sorry, I am the best

I hate when... :
① You think that I'm gonna reply the second I've received your message even though I'm on my phone 24/7
② I fall in love when I could just fall back asleep
③ I have to change my relationship status from 'single' to 'still single'
④ Guys have longer eyelashes than me bc honestly they don't deserve to look pretty
⑤ People ask if we have a bathroom like no we actually poop in the streets

More facts about me:
① I would lose weight but I hate losing
② I love sleeping to avoid problems
③ When people say I love you I always say I love you more bc life is a competition and I have to win

Ways to die:
① Touch my food
※ I accept apologies in the form of cookies, cash or chocolate milk.
Or you could just fight me... just sayin.

Reasons I'm fat:
① I eat when I'm hungry
② I'm always hungry

2017=2016=2015=2014 goals:
① Killer body
② A boyfriend
③ A second boyfriend in case the first one escapes
④ Sexy selfie taking skills
⑤ Stop looking like a pig

All jokes aside, never stop being yourself. And if anyone judges you for doing that, I'll come and punch the crap out of them ;)