Sebastian Michaelis & Claude Faustus

"Welcome, m'ladies. My name is Claude Faustus, and it is such a pleasure to meet you all beautiful humans."
"Yes, such a pleasure to meet you. I am Sebastian Michaelis, and I am a demon butler."
"I too, am a demon butler. As many of you know, Sebastian and I don't get along very well..." 
"No, we do not. Claude resembles much of a child molester, don't you agree?"
"I AM NOT!"
"Do quiet down, Faustus. I'm trying to speak to the millions of beautiful ladies." 
*Sigh* "Why did I ever agree to work with you on this?" 
*Cough, cough* "Remember what you drunkenly admitted to me a few nights ago?" (Evil grin spreads across Sebastian's flawless skin)
*Adjusts glasses* "Er... Why I believe I do remember Sebastian. Do continue..." 
"A million apologies, my young ladies. As I was saying, we have a lot of troubles getting along. So we decided to interact with you, to see if you could possibly help us. We write stories about whatever you fantasize about."
"Indeed, you can request anything you would like! For all our time spent here, we are your butlers. We will listen to everything you say."
"We will be loyal, and do whatever you wish. We have been informed many times that women around the world would give up their hearts for us... My sweethearts, how I wish we could feel the same towards you. But we are demons, and we cannot feel. Although we can't feel and have emotions, we still have the ability to... Seduce~"
"But do be careful, because Sebastian has absolutely no boundaries." 
"Keep in mind that Claude is the exact same. I'm only like that because, I'm simply one hell of a butler~" 


(In unison) "What is your order, mistress?"