CJ

I'm crazy. In both the fun and silly way, as well as the scary and disturbing way. I've been driven insane by love. Love drove me crazy. Love is hard. It's worth it but it's not always easy. But that's life. Falling in love is a mistake you only need to make once, but it's a mistake that will, depending on how you look at it, haunt you or guide you for a long, long time. 
I've been through a lot of heart ache, I've gone out with far too many girls, I easily could've stopped with the first. But I decided to keep trying and I do regret that, some girls more than others. I've tried to use one girl to hide feelings for another girl, I practically cheated on one girl. I led on one girl only to reject her. Yeah I was a jerk. 
I've become a person I've never wanted to be. I always wanted to be the kid who stood out because he was such a great guy, people loved him because he was nice, caring, not some jerk who tried to be funny by ragging on other people all the time. I've become what everyone expects of a teenager, and people don't expect good things of teenagers. I don't want to be normal because in the world we live in, normal is immoral.
I'm a Christian, always have been yet I do things that very much contradict my faith. I do things and even though I feel guilty about them now and then I hardly ever would stop and say maybe I should stop. 
Well now I'm putting my foot down, as I'm going into high school, I have nothing connecting me to who I was at my old school. I have an opportunity to change who I am. To be that nice guy I've always wanted to be. 
As for love, well I guess I don't need to search for love because true love will find you weather or not your searching for it. God has his plan and I trust in it. So I will wait for my love to come to me, maybe she already has. We'll see what happens, we'll see if I fall in love again, we'll see if I become that nice guy, we'll see if I become a man by his faith, we'll see who I become.