With No Warning (Romance/Inspirational)(Complete)

25 Part Story 125K Reads 1.6K Votes
Li By Li Completed
The last thing she expected was to seek shelter in a freezer, with a handsome stranger, while a tornado ripped the roof from above her head. Dakota survives the twister, but in the days to come, will her heart survive the emotional twister of Evan, her hot freezer mate, on that fateful day?
Good descriptions, but the narration feels a tad detached from what Dakota is experiencing. Maybe rethink some word choices.
Your writing is beautifully crafted and not too wordy. I appreciate that.
I honestly don't know exactly why, but I can't read this.
I think the way you have written in 3rd person was too... matured? I found it tedious to read.

I mean no offence.
How the hell do you write so well?!
Your description is so accurate, it's honestly just perfect :)
x
@stained_glasses Oh that is sad!! 

Have been a little buried this week...but I'm hoping to read more of this one tonight or tomorrow...i really want to see where it goes from here! I should be commenting on chapters later!! =c]
Great first chapter! The details you put into it made me feel like I was really there :D