I'm not in to these kind of stories but I actually like how it's starting off. I also love how you ended with a climax!
I love it! :D I love the way you write and the descriptions you give. You're a really good writer :D What inspired you to write?
Another good chapter - you missed out on a few commas, but it was brilliant again.
It's refreshing to read a story with a bit of description in it.
That was quite good, very good. I loved the detail, it was brilliant, I could imagine the scene in my good.
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