Heart Endeavors

Chapter 3

                                                             ~~~chapter #3~~~

Feeling dreadfully lonely. I know Samuel was bad news, that he fed off of my emotions, but somehow I still miss the time we spent together, the feeling I was needed. I hadn't felt that way since Chris, my ex-rocker-boyfriend who dumped me by performing a song about how he was sleeping around behind my back after announcing "This one's for you Scarlette." Talk about a wake up call.... Anyhow I guess I enjoyed having Samuel around just to boost my confidence, to tell me I was wanted. I missed human interaction; craved it. I needed some one to love me even though I guess being with Samuel wouldnt be considered human interaction.

My mom had died 5 years previous to my break up with Chris, so I guess it would be about 6 years since I heard the soothing voice of the single hardest-working woman I'd ever encountered. Mom had to deal with raising me since birth at a young age when my father left her after pregnancy shock. I never met him. My mom was the only relative I knew I had. So you can say I haven't really been open to the idea of letting someone in again to soon and then Samuel came along and things were different. I finally felt... secure. I guess that doesn't matter now, he's gone and I never can know if I'll ever see him again.

I can't believe this happened! I pulled up a newspaper that read "YOUNG GUITARIST HIT BY TRAIN AFTER ARRIVING HOME FROM WORLD TOUR." I read on. The first sentence started like this "Chris Valrayis, recent deceased, was hit by a train late last Tuesday, drunk. We was rushed the hospital but to no avail. The 26-year-old recieved serious head trama and later died." I let out a wimper, and my shoulders started to shake. I tried holding it in but finally burst into tears. How could this happen to him? He was so young. He had so much to live for. I mean, sure, he was a complete jerk, but I missed him. To know that I would never feel his hands embrace me was so odd for me. I, Scarlette, was indeed doomed to be forever alone.

I cried all the night and straight for the next two days. The funeral was planned for a week after the announcement. I don't remember the long days inbetween. I just was going through the motions. I planned staff meetings and took phone calls like every other day in the office. I didn't do any painting, like I normally did.

The day of the funeral came. It was mainly full of potheads and rockers that were good friends of Chris and were incapable of showing any emotion because of past tramas or lack there of. I felt really awkward there and ast to the back. I cried my eyes out at the casket knowing the man inside was splatter and shredded from a huge chunk of metal running over his body. Then someone really close behind my left ear whispered "You know, you're kinda hot when you're crying."

I freaked out and turned around. everyone started staring at me. There was no one behind me and the faces of the group gave the emotion "What the heck is her problem?" I was so embarrassed I sped off to the restroom. In the mirror i looked at my puffy red eyes. It was weird but for a moment that voice sounded almost exactly like Chris. I look to my right in the mirror and freeze, mouth gaping.

And then the reflection of chris' mouth shapes the words, "Hey there, Beautiful. What's crackin?"

(To be continued...)