The White Wolf: Of all things above {2}

Your skin isn't paper don't cut it

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This has self hurting in it. Please do not read if this upsets you, and is not meant to recreate someone's pain and or mock it. If you are hurting please know that even if you feel terribly alone that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. That at least one person in this world loves you. I promise that it will all get better soon. 

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"𝕊𝕙𝕖'𝕤 𝕒 𝕓𝕒𝕕𝕒𝕤𝕤 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥. 𝕊𝕠𝕗𝕥 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘. 𝕌𝕟𝕒𝕡𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕚𝕔, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕙𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕥. 𝕊𝕙𝕖'𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕪𝕡𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕨𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕠 𝕥𝕠 𝕨𝕒𝕣 𝕓𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕕𝕖..."

*3rd person POV*

"Peter? Hey, kid what happened?" Tony asks Peter as he walks quickly storms past him and all the Avengers. 

"What happened?! What happened!?" He yells at his idol making the rest of the Avengers turn their eyes to him, shocked. "You all happened! Do you know how much that girl is hurting!? How you all just sat here and let her go to her room by herself. She shouldn't have to talk about it if she doesn't want to, but someone should have been there with popcorn and a movie at least so she knows she's not alone. Instead when I got there to try and help her feel better she pushed me away. She's shutting everyone out like when I did when Uncle Ben died, and I promised myself when he died that I wouldn't ever let anyone else be in that much pain. Alone." The Avengers look down ashamed. "I'm going to go make sure that she's okay." Peter says walking away from the ashamed, and shocked Avengers.

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*Peter's POV*

I walk down the hallways thinking about what I'll say to her. I knock on her door once, but she doesn't come to the door. I open it after a minute or two peeking my head in when I hear a crash from the bathroom. Running over I jiggle the door knob, but the door is locked. Pulling my foot back I take a deep breath in. Exhaling I slam my foot into the door and it breaks off the hinges. Sitting there on the ground is Adriana. Smaller than she's ever been, it's as though someone has taken her and beaten her again and again. Her alpha stride, smile and stance gone. I don't notice it at first but then I see the blood seeping onto the floor from her arms. She doesn't move or speak. Hell she barely blinks. I immediately slide onto the floor, gently grabbing her arm. There are cut lines all the way up to her elbow. 

"Oh Adriana." I whisper standing and grabbing another towel and a first aid kit from her close to empty cabinet. When I pour the rubbing alcohol on her cuts she doesn't even move. "Adriana, your skin isn't paper don't cut it." I say, but she doesn't even move. She does nothing but blink into the open space next to my head. I stitch her cuts up to the best of my ability. Having some practice from all the times of coming back from patrol. Gently I cup her cheek turning her head to me. 

"Adriana, hey." I say as her eyes slowly focus on me. 

"Peter?" She asks dazed.

"Yeah, hey I'm  here." I say lifting her up and off the bathroom floor. Her towel has blood on it so I gently set her on her feet at her closet. Thank God she put underwear on because when I turn around her towel is on the floor and she sitting at the end of her bed. My heart breaks in two and the amount of scars now all over her body. More than there were before. I dress her quickly and quietly in comfortable clothes and place her on the bed. 

"Adriana?" I ask and her eyes focus on me 

The quietest little raspy sentence forms that I'm lucky to have heard with my super hearing. "I think I need to talk about it, before I do something I regret." 

I nod getting onto the bed and wrapping my arm around her. "Whenever you're ready." I say she takes a deep breath and begins. 

"I- I don't know how." she whispers

"Tell me what happened after Tony fried all the chips."

"Mine didn't fry, I was waiting for it. Nothing happened. The Hydra soldiers chips did fry. They dropped all around me. My pack found me, all of them were okay and so we went home. We thought everything was okay, that you were all on your way back home and that I was with my family and that everything would be okay now." She presses her body a little closer to mine and my hold around her gets a little tighter. Telling her that I was there and that everything is going to be okay. 

"A couple days later Hydra bombed us. Somehow, they found where we were. Several of the wolves didn't make it out. The ones that did, they- we were surrounded by soldiers with guns. There wasn't anywhere to go so they took us back to the compound. I was knocked out for a lot of it, but when I came to I was in a chair in human form, but they had my pack in front of me strapped to the floor. It was like a nightmare. The ones where you can't do anything but watch. Except that I didn't wake up from this one. A Hydra soldier walked up to me and began yelling. They were angry that I destroyed the compound that I was the reason for so many deaths. They're right Peter. I'm a monster I've killed and killed and killed." I hug her tightly 

"No Adriana, not a monster, you're strong and brave." She nods her head a tee tiny little bit before continuing "When he held a gun to one of the young wolves in the pack, Lilly, I begged for him to just kill me, and he came back over. I thought he was going to kill me but then a needle poked into my neck and I passed out. When I woke up my bonds were broken and I was so so angry, I didn't even question it. On the other side of the room, my pack was gone and a group of hydra soldiers were there. I was so angry" She sobs 

"I ran full speed at them but they didn't move but I didn't care I killed all of them right there and then. It's almost like fog cleared from my mind, I looked down and my-my pack was a mix of broken bones and blood. I killed them, I killed all of them, but I thought they were Hydra. They got in my head. I think they're still in my head" She starts sobbing uncontrollably for a minute but then begins to calm, small sobs raking her body time to time  "I remember screaming for them to  just kill me after what I did." She lets out a small heart breaking sob. "Andrew, everyone... even the pups. I killed all of them, they died because of me. I wasn't able to save them. It's my fault. It's my fault." She repeats 

"No Adriana, you were tricked. No one would have done differently, because it's no ones fault but Hydra's." I say and she nods softley, her face neutral. "They tortured me for months. I barely ate and everytime I tried to sleep they turned on bright lights. I eventually got out. My bonds were unlocked one morning so I did what I could and barely got out of there. When I was there I had heard the Hydra soldiers talking about weapons and an attack on New York. I raced my way to New York as fast as I could. I don't know if they wanted me to escape, if that was another one of their punishments. For me to live while a piece of me died. I'm sorry Peter." She says 

"Why?" I ask confused 

"You all are important to me, and I haven't even been here long and now look. I- I tried to kill myself Peter." She sobbs as though she's just now figuring out what she's tried to do. Soon she falls asleep on my tear soaked sleeve, but right as her eyes begin to close she whispers "please, don't tell anyone?" "Never." I promise as her eyes slip shut.