Living in misery. (Tommyinnit)

S E V E N

When we got back to the house I reached down to pet Patches. Im sure she could tell the mood was odd in the house. The way everyone looks at me like im some fragile plate that could break with the wrong look. I hate it because im being treated different. The opposite of what i wanted. 

I began to walk toward the stairs with Tubbo to play Mario Cart game on his Switch when Niki suddenly hugged me for a short bit then looking at me with a hand up on my shoulder. I looked down at her puzzled.

"Im sorry Tommy. You can talk to me if you need to ever." she said sincerely. I nodded putting a smile on. She smiled back slightly before being called back to her game of monopoly in the living room. 

Me and Tubbo walked to his room and i threw myself on his bed while he set the switch up on his TV. I noticed he had his binder on.

"Tubbo. When is the last time you took that off?" I asked propping myself up on one elbow.

"Took what o- Oh my binder? Uhm. The night before last? When you told me to." He said furrowing his brows slightly. I stood up and walked over to where he was.

"Hey. Give me those. Ill finish this right? You go in the bathroom and take that off. Youll mess up your body if you keep on like this." I said reaching out for the cords he was messing with.

"No, no Tommy. Im fine ive got this. Ill be ok just a while longer."He said snatching the cords back and getting teary eyed.

"Its ok just go take it off Tubs. You cant hurt yourself." I said looking worried. He began to look a mixture of sad and angry and i got confused. I know he doesnt like the way he looks or feels without it but he cant hurt himself. We sat in brief silence and i looked at the small boy in front of me with a puzzled expression.

"Well Tommy how come I cant hurt myself but you just got yourself landed in the fucking hospital when you couldve talked to us? I was right next door with Niki. I dont care if you hadnt told me or if you just didnt want to talk about that. You couldve just came and distracted yourself but instead you decided to try and leave all of us. If i cant hurt myself then you shouldnt get here either." He erupted, slightly yelling, as he began crying. I flinched slightly at his sudden outburst and no warning for it. I hadnt realized how much this whole thing probably truly hurt him until just now, him bottling it up until one thing just causes a waterfall of words and emotions to pour out.

"I- T-Tubbo I-" but i couldnt find even the slightest of words. He was crying heavily at this point so i just pulled him into a hug. I began to rub circles into his back as he cried into my shoulder hugging me back. I felt so bad that i had driven him to this point.

"I dont want you to g-go Tommy. Youre all i have. P-please." he cried.

"I wont Tubbo." I said hugging him tighter and laying my cheek on his head.