Ride or Die

Story Preview: How to Win Friends and Influence People

Story Preview: How to Win Friends and Influence People

Summary: After the war, Hermione discovered she liked to break things; bones, specifically. Similarly, Draco, whose life had crumbled to rubble, became fascinated with explosives. Dramione, post-war, espionage AU.

November 2020 addition: this story is not yet cross-posted to Wattpad, but it is available and complete on AO3 and FFN.

. . . . . . . .

The first time:

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Sept 3, 1998

"Oh, for heaven's sake," she growled, glaring at him. "I was here first."

"If you would kindly untwist your knickers, Granger, you might bring yourself to notice that I am simply reaching for a book," he retorted, making a show of picking one up off the shelf. "Didn't your mother ever teach you to be polite?"

She flipped a page, scowling. "I see you haven't changed a bit, Malfoy."

"No, I haven't," he told her, "and regrettably, neither have you."

She slammed the book shut, throwing her bag over her shoulder and rising to her feet.

"I don't know why I thought I'd be able to come back here with you," she muttered. "I should have known you'd be the exact same bullying prat you always were - "

"Look," he interrupted, waving her opposition away. "I'm just here to take my N.E.W.T.s and get out, same as you." She made a face, and he glowered back. "I'm not looking for any sort of reconciliation. You just stay out of my way, Granger," he offered forcefully, "and I'll stay out of yours."

"You'd better, Malfoy," she snapped. "Don't think I've forgotten about everything you did."

"Don't think I care," he retorted, and crossed his arms over his chest. "So are we clear?"

"That you're an arse, and nothing's changed?" she prompted, artificially sweet. "Crystal."

"Good," he said flatly.

"Good!" she yelled back.

"SHHH," Madam Pince interrupted loudly, and they stared at each other, fuming.

"Get out of my w- "

"With pleasure," he drawled, stepping aside with a derisive bow, and she promptly stormed out.

. . . . . . . .

The second time:

The Three Broomsticks, Hogsmeade Village

December 25, 1998

"Oh, for fuck's sake," he groaned. "What in the name of Salazar's wrinkled ballsack are you doing here?"

"Oh, shove it, Malfoy," she retorted. "Go away."

"You go away," he snapped. "I'm just trying to have a drink - "

"What are you even doing here?" she demanded. "Why aren't you with your family? Or better yet, at the bottom of the lake," she muttered under her breath, "being swallowed by the giant squid - "