Sprouting Mushroom

Unwell

My chest feels tight.

I feel fidgety and anxious enough that I wanted to turn a blind eye to the problematic result I have made earlier.

I felt like crying...yet I know crying does not solve the problem so I moved on without looking back and learning.

Maybe that was why I easily cry when Im alone reading emotional stories. In the past I don't really feel emotional when reading one, where my chest feels tight and feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. And, a bit of liquid matter on my eyelids.

I layed down. It made me feel a little bit stable. Stable enough to pull myself together.

A sigh left me.

'It's okay'. I said to myself. But I know at the back of my head my mind is spinning in circle for I always let myself live in the moment of 'failure'. Im afraid of 'failure' not for myself but the impending 'disappointment' from my loved ones.

I feel unwell.

Maybe that's what.

.

.

...the bed is warm...comforting enough to feel alright.

I feel alright.

As long as I moved forward, so I thought of nothing for a moment...and cleared my head.

I want to eat, that's what I thought. I have not finished the food earlier since I felt like I was going to throw up if something goes down my throat.

It will be a waste if I ate it feeling like... (I don't want to curse).