Butts are very strange parts of the body. And sometimes, when you're in public, you see someone's behind. You immediately need to tell the person next to you, "Look at her/his butt!" Wouldn't it be great if butts were put into categories!? Then, you could say things like, "That tall butt is so nice!"
That's why I'm going to categorize some of the butt types I see.
Booty #1: THE JIGGLY CHEEKS
These butts like to move! (Especially in yoga pants, and it's kinda disgusting). When a person with the jiggly cheeks walks, each cheek moves with each step. And sometimes, it has what I like to call, "after jiggle." After jiggle is when the person stops moving, but their Buttcheeks just don't want to cooperate, so they jiggle to a stop. It's actually really annoying!
Booty #2: THE PANCAKE
These butts just simply do not exist. They are as flat as a pancake, hence the name. People with these butts hurt themselves constantly when they fall. There is simply no cushion for them to land on.
Booty #3: THE INDEPENDENT
These butts can be very sad. But a lot of people like them so, idk. But, basically the independent butt means that they have two buttcheeks (like normal) but their buttcheeks are separate. So, whenever they wear leggings or tight pants (remember these butt types are for guys, too!) they form around their buttcheeks. So, you can see both buttcheeks, but also exactly where there butt crack is! These butts really tick me off.
Booty #4: THE ONE CHEEK
A person with "The One Cheek" may have a nice butt, but (haha butt, but) they only have one buttcheek. Or at least it looks like it! The are pretty much the exact opposite of "The Independent" butts. There really isn't much to explain!
Booty #5: THE JUICY BOOTY
These butts look like they have been blown up like a balloon. They are big butts and sometimes so big that they get in the way of things. I would say these could be considered the best butt to have. They jiggle, but don't have that awful "after jiggle." And, they have two buttcheeks!
Booty #6: THE VEINY
Have you ever been sitting down in a public place, and then see a lady bend over to pick up her child and see her BUTT!? Well it has happened to me. People with "The Veiny" have wrinkly butts with lots of veins. I can't really say much about them because I looked away as soon as I saw the lady's butt.
Booty #7: THE TALL ONE
These butts can be big or small, but the buttcheeks are tall. That's right, tall. People's butts are simply vertical! If you have this butt type, don't worry! It isn't bad! But it isn't good either. "The Tall Ones" are usually seen the most clearly in skinny jeans.
Booty #8: THE SAGGY
These butts don't have much pop and they don't have anywhere to go, so they sag. People can get rid of the sag by doing squats, but some people think that is too much work.
Booty #9: THE AVERAGE
"The Average" butts are most common. They aren't big or small. They aren't tall or short. They aren't veiny or clear. They are 100% in the middle. And a lot of times, that's a good thing.
Booty #10: THE ANIMAL
These butts are "owned" by animals. Not much to them.
So, which butt type do you have? Sadly, I have The Pancake. Comment and tell me your type!!!
