WAITING GAME ¤ peter parker

II. the one with the spilled coffee

a lesson in survivor's guilt.

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Peter doesn't think he'll ever get over how quiet it is here. It's a different world from Queens. No loud sounds, no sirens or screams. Silence. Which isn't good for Peter. He can't handle silence as much as anymore.

Back home, there was always something to do. Some battle to fight, a few thugs to stop. It seems as if there isn't any crime in Peter's new home. It drives him mad. What else is he supposed to do?

The absence of crime doesn't stop him though. He still pulls on his suit every night, and sits atop the roof with clasped hands and has KAREN play music to block out the quiet. And he waits. Without fail, he's always there, every single night.

There was a time when he wasn't there, and it had lead to the worst moment in his life. Next time, he'll be there. He had promised himself that the same day he'd decided to move so far away for school. He'll be there.

So Peter crawls in through the window of his dorm as the run is rising, quick to ditch his suit in favor of sweatpants and a tee, and falls asleep the same time Ned gets up to start his day. It's not a good routine, but that doesn't stop him.

And that bad routine is exactly why Peter shows up to your study session late. He supposes he'd been too caught up in not having an early class that day that he'd forgotten. God, it leaves him with an unpleasant feeling. The last thing he wants is for you to think he didn't want to show.

Because he did. He'd stayed up late to prepare color coded flash cards, and had even packed extra of his special pens in case you wanted to use some, too. He wanted to come, he really did.

"Hey, Peter? Are you okay...you're just, kinda late, which is fine! Take your time, just wondering if...I don't know, if you're still coming? If you don't want to, just let me", the line crackles, "let me know...bye."

Peter feels as if he's messed up. He feels the urge to fiddle with the loose threads on his sleeves. Something he's stopped doing, because Tony had gotten him to stop, and after Tony, it was her. And after her...after her.

It's sunny outside, but Peter is cold. He doesn't want you to be disappointed in him. And he knows he barely knows you, but that's one of the worst feelings, isn't it? Failing someone before you even get the chance to impress them? Really, truly, deep down inside of him, Peter knows he probably can't take letting one more person down.

His fingers are dialing your number faster than he can think - he did not commit your number to memory on purpose, it was just too many nights of staring at your contact trying to make himself text you. You answer on the first ring. "Oh, thank god, um, hey! I'm so sorry, I overslept and I'm on my way right now so just, just wait for me, yeah?"

Silence.

And just before he's about to hang up out of sheer embarrassment -

"Yeah. I'll wait for you, Parker."

Peter is warm.

—

The coffee shop you'd chosen was one Peter knew well.

He can feel himself slipping in and out of his head each time there's a pause in conversation. Every clink from a cup being set down, or everytime the bells by the door ring, he jumps.

Many nights were spent here when he'd first moved. He'd sit at the same table - the one near the back right by the window - and wait there until Ned noticed that he wasn't in the room, or the cup in his hands was no longer warm enough to distract him.