Blank Slate Kate

Chapter 22

At two o'clock in the morning I'm still wide awake, my mind too busy to succumb to sleep. I can't stop thinking about my two men.

Jake seems to want me still, although he hasn't done anything about it but say mean things about Ryan, and though he aggravates me I also still feel a connection with him.

Ryan definitely still loves me. I don't love him, but I can see that I could. That I did.

If only I could remember. It's so frustrating.

My phone gives its new-email sound, and since I'm awake anyhow I check it out.

Donna,

Just wanted to let you know I got home safely. Thanks for the coffee - I might have fallen asleep without it.

I'll call you around nine Monday night if that's all right.

Love,

Ryan

I write back.

Nine is good. I'm glad you didn't have too bad a drive.

In seconds, he sends another message.

You're still awake?

I respond that I can't sleep, and moments later the phone rings. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I curl onto my side. "Just awake."

"Not tired?"

"I'm baked. All that walking in Niagara? But I can't fall asleep."

He says, "You need a teddy bear. You have one here."

"I sleep with a teddy bear? Maybe I really am seventeen after all."

He chuckles. "You don't sleep with it. You just like to have it around. I'll email you a picture so you can sort of have it with you."

"Okay. But tomorrow. You should get to sleep."

"Mmm, not happening."

"Why not?"

He sighs. "Lots on my mind."

"Well, if I'm awake, and you're awake, why not tell me about it?"

He pauses, then says, "Oh, Donna."

His voice is low and soft, almost a growl, and it sends an electricity through me that I've never felt from anything else. I've heard him say my name that way before, I know it, heard it while he held me and touched me and made love to me. I don't remember it but I know. My body knows, right to its core.

I can barely gather enough breath to say, "Yes?"

"I wish you were here," he says in that same sexy rumbling voice, and I shut my eyes as it seems to set all my cells rumbling too.

While I'm trying to pull myself together, he clears his throat and says, "Sorry. Shouldn't have said that."

"I liked it," I admit before I can stop myself.

The silence on the line is absolute, like he's holding his breath the same way I am. We haven't had the physical connection I had with Jake when we were together in person, but my God, do we have it now. I don't know what to do with it, but we have it.

"Is it hot in here or is it just me?"

I giggle. "I think it's you."

"Far more likely to be you. You're the pretty one in this relationship."

"Hardly." It's so much easier to flirt over the phone than in person. No wonder phone sex became so popular.

"Pretty and smart too. If you weren't so nice I'd have to hate you."