Tattooed Mistakes: The End

I Know That We're Gonna Be Fine

(And here we are, at the very end of the series that solidified my position as the Angst Masochist of the ZOMBIES Tumblr fandom. I hope you've all enjoyed it, and I hope I caused just a little bit of pain~ ;p

Alonzo deserves a happy ending. I torture him enough)

Trigger warning: discussion of trauma

Gonna Be Fine theme songs: I Don't Know How To Love Him from Jesus Christ Superstar, ADDICT by Silva Hound and Human Behaviour by Emma Blackery

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~We're just healing over, we're getting stronger as we get older~

It hurt him, seeing Al like this. Broken and hopeless. Tears in his eyes. Desperate for a way out, for an end. Up until two years ago, Alonzo had been a beacon of positivity and comfort and love in Zephyr's life, but ever since the incident, that Alonzo was gone. It wasn't right. And it wasn't fair.

But they had visits, and the hospitals visits were a vast improvement compared to the prison visits. They knew they were being watched by the patrol officer who always stood guard at the door of Al's room, but they were together, face-to-face, with no glass window separating them. He'd been glad to hear Alonzo could find some joy in riling up the guard, Frances. He picked up a few things about her back when he was first locked up and he loved watching how she seethed with rage whenever he called her by her first name or spoke to her like an old friend. And he'd finally started opening up to his new therapist about his hallucinations. And he was eating relatively normally again without getting quite so sick. He was given small portions of brain food in his meals, and it did stir up something in him, but he managed to keep it under control.

Despite all of that, he didn't feel any better. Not really. And it came spilling out along with those tears...

"I still see him," he said, rubbing at his eye with his sleeve-covered hand, then winced at his own chose of words, "It."

"That's normal," Zephyr told him, keeping his voice level.

"Yeah, but it's not supposed to be normal."

Zephyr laid his hand over Alonzo's. Al instinctively laced their fingers together and squeezed his eyes shut, and leaned his head against the wall beside them. Zephyr had to hope he was listening.

"It's gonna have to be for now, alright? You'll get there."

But Al shook his head. He opened his eyes again, meeting Zephyr's, but he didn't move off the wall, "I don't think the pills are doing anything."

"Come on, it hasn't been that long. You need to wait it out," Zephyr reminded him, patient as ever, but Al just averted his eyes again and Zephyr sighed, "You could get them to change it."

"I dunno, Zeph..." Al shook his head, "I mean, is it even worth it? The zombie's still showing up, I need brain food but it still makes me sick-"

"You said it wasn't so bad now," Zephyr frowned.

"It's not," Al admitted, "But... I-I keep thinking about breaking my band again."

"Thinking about it isn't doing it."

Al stopped. He was right. His therapist had explained this. He slowly nodded, "Yeah... It's just intrusive thoughts."

"Do you want to break your band?" Zephyr gently prompted him.

"No. No, I don't."

"So you won't."