Mending Broken Hearts-2

Crashing Hearts

I hope you all are ready for this emotional chapter. Just a warning now.

Alex is paged by Robbins for an incoming peds case that needs his attention while Cristina and I search for Meredith. "What did Janet say?" Cristina asks as we find her sitting on a bed in the hall.

"Meredith?" I call out her name making her look at us. She looks nervous and shaken up.

"We're not getting her back." Meredith blurts out with such calmness that it scares me.

"What do you mean? What...what exactly did she say?" Cristina asks.

"That we're not getting her back." Meredith repeats to us.

"She said that?" I ask her.

"She said that the court..." Meredith is fighting back tears. "Canceled our hearing date. And when they do that, it means either one of two things...that they looked at our file and they love us and they're giving her to us, in which case they call Janet and they tell her that, or that they hate us and they're giving her to another family. And she didn't get the, they love us call." Meredith explains to us.

"That doesn't mean it's done. You could still get a call." I try and reason with Meredith away from the doom and gloom.

"She said we should move on. That's what she said. You want to know her exact words were? I think it's time that you and Derek start thinking about moving on." Meredith elaborates for us.

"Oh, my God." Cristina mutters. We take a seat next to her holding onto her hand. "Oh, God. How can they do this?" Meredith lets out a giant sigh.

"You can cry. We're here for you." I assure Meredith who shakes her head.

"I don't want to cry." Meredith states and we nod our heads.

"We know." Cristina says to her.

"I'm never gonna see her again." Meredith whispers to us and we bring her in for a group hug. "Okay, stop. I don't want to cry." We pull away giving her some space.

"We know." We hold her hand never letting it go.

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Cristina left to go to the skills lab and I stay with Meredith. "You got paged to the hospital. You should go and..."

"My page got canceled. I'm here for you right now and that's where I want to be." I assure her.

"I deserve this. I messed with that trial and got her taken away I..." I squeeze her hand tight making her look at me.

"You did an illegal thing but that doesn't make you a bad mother. I was pissed at you for blaming everything on Alex and not taking responsibility for your actions but...we're imperfect humans. We make mistakes and...you don't deserve this. You are a good mother and...you don't deserve this."

"Was it this hard for you?" Meredith asks me and I lean my head back thinking about how difficult it was for Mark and me to get one yes.

"Mark and I were not married and we didn't want to rush into a marriage just to have a child and...we were denied from every adoption agency. International and local. No one would give us a baby."

"How? You are stable financially, doctors, and..."

"They just didn't like us for whatever reason they had. We did not fit their need for good parents. Mark and I even went to the courthouse to get married once to make an agency like us but...we just kept getting denied. We called and told them our predicament and...they told us even if we got married it wouldn't change the agency's mind." I explain to Meredith who takes this all in.