Luna
We've moved onto the fifth venue for the tour, and i can tell gus was getting tired but he didn't let anyone know this. He wasn't sleeping and when he was it would only be an hour that we'd get before a show.
He was partying harder, doing more drugs even Xanax he'd try and hide it from me but i knew what he doing.
I thought this tour would bring us close together but if anything we've become more distanced i hardly see him in the day as he's always in the back with the boys smoking and drinking. Me and cat were getting tired from everything so we just spend our time in the front half of the bus
I was about to say something when everyone moved into the front area where we were sat, everyone but gus
"Gus wants to talk to you" horsehead said pointing towards the back
I nodded and stood up making my way towards the back
"Gus?" I felt i've walked into a situation like this before
But he was fine he was sat upright on the couch with a xbox controller in his hands focused on the game
"Hey baby" he said pausing the game patting the seat next to him
I feel nervous why ?
"You wanted to speak to me?" I turned my head
"Yeah i miss you"
I laughed
"Gus you've spent the past couple of days back here getting high, the only time you leave is to go on stage" i scoffed "and we promised each other that we'd stop the xans" i said pointing my head towards a bottle of xanax on the table
"They're not mine boo" he lied
"You're such a liar!" I stood up "Gus your on xans all the time now don't even try to lie to me"
"Baby i'm not lying" he slurred
"Whatever" i said before walking out the room back to where i was before
Everyone stopped talking and turned to look at me, a crash sound was heard from the back meaning gus has smashed something up. Typical
"You guys can go back now" i smiled sitting down in the booth opposite cat
"Is everything okay?" George asked leaning over to me
"Yeah everything's fine" i smiled lying through my teeth
He nodded and joined everyone returning back to the room
"I can't stay here cat it's gonna destroy us" i said looking at her
A look of disappointment waved over her face
"I understand, but it's his birthday in a couple of days so we'll stay until then yeah?" She smiled reaching over and grabbing my hand holding onto it with hers
"He's back on xanax" i mumbled throwing my head down onto the table
"We promised each other we'd stay off them" i sighed looking back up at her
If he can get fucked every night why can't i, a smile creeped up onto my face as the idea popped into my head
"Luna no" cat said as if she was reading my mind
I jumped up and went straight to the back room, when i walked in all the laughing died down and gus's eyes landed straight on me i ignored it and grabbed the bottle of alcohol of the table and the small baggy next to it full of xanax
Gus knew my next actions and before he could say anything i threw them into my mouth before taking a swig out of the bottle, he stood up and grabbed the bottle out of my mouth just as i sallowed
"Are you mental?" He shouted
I put my tongue out showing that i had sallowed it making him scoff
"I must be" i smiled before kissing him on the lips and snatching the bottle back out of his hand and into mine
Just as i was about to walk out, gus's hand attached itself to my wrist and pulled me into the bathroom next to the doorway before i could do anything
"What the fuck are you doing? Are you mental huh?Do you want to overdose" he shouted which would normally make me flinch but due to the drugs already in my system i just stood there as he shouted at me
"Do you want to die" I shouted back
"You know i don't" he said lowering his tone
"Then why are you doing this, we promised each other gus that we'd stay off the drugs and as soon as this tour started you've just thrown that out the window. You're acting as if you have nothing to live for" i said
"I don't i only have you" he muttered looking into my eyes
"We both know that's bullshit gus" i crossed my arms across my chest
"I can't deal with all of this going on around me it's moving to quickly for me. I just want to go back to the days in the loft when things weren't as heavy, I didn't have as many people relying on me to do good" he said
"I get that, when this tours over you'll take a break okay?" He nodded "just hold on and everything will be okay i promise"
"Promise me, you'll stay of the drugs" i said holding my pinky finger out
He nodded and locked out pinkies together
Something told me deeps down that this was all a lie
Sozzles but next time i upload will be the rest of the book 😼 so stay around
