first chapter - Looking out my window.

umm, Hello ?

If you like books about school, and boys and shopping and crap. I suggest you to not read this.

If you enjoy books about real issues, murders, diseases, and interesting topics, read this.

 

I have learnt to introduce my self as Lousia, the girl who has a perfect life. I am 14 and am in year 8 at Packford High in Bosten, US.

My mother died at birth and my father doesnt really cope.

They where young and madly in love, they both gave up work to spend time with eachother. When they decided they wanted to get married they both started working so they could contribute to the wedding and they where planning on buying a house together aswell. After all this took place father got a few degrees and ended up getting a good job, as a polition. Mum was pregnant shortly after that and didnt really work at all.

Then it happened. I was born.

I, me, this stupid person, ruined the true love of these two passionate people who could of had amazing lives, with great jobs, wealthy people and could of had a smart child who also gained them money.

But no...

Thats not what happened, and it never will. She's dead and she will never come back and i can never change the past.    Shit.

 I am pulling up to school in our old tarten seated school bus now.

This is school bus 1F and i have to catch bus 3B home tonight.. Yayy!

I launched my body off the bus, what such a huge jump it is...

i glanced over my shoulder and noticed Zoey, smoking, sat on the gate as usual.

Zoey is my friend. My best friend, i suppose...

she's very skinny and ultra tall. She only wears black (like me) (goth/emo, whatever) and has this amazing individuality about her.

im standing about  a foot away from her now and she's taking her lasts puff of smoke before i have one and then we put it out.

Today is monday, today is wagging day. Monday's and Fridays are wag days but when were not wagging school we wag most lessons.

Zoey has just opened the reception door and suddenly we are surrounded by colourful happy little people with wonderful lives who love school.

These are the people i hate...

Finally we get to the front of the mess and sign our selves in. Our school works through the reception. You sign in through the reception in the morning and sign out afterward school and it leads through into the school grounds. There is no other way of getting in our out of school. Its like a square, all the bulidings on the outside of the square and the ovals and the thing they call 'sport' on the inside.

 Anyway, we scribble our names off the list and walk on through...

We walk around the courtyard several times so that lots of people see us and then they will think we have been at school that day.

Then when the bell rings for home group we rush upstairs cut through the language studies area on 113 and then walk right through all the computer labs and finally we quietly cut through a hallway that only teachers use and finally open a cupboard door, which actually leads out onto a balcony.

Nobody knows it exists, well the teachers probably do but never use it. Its only about a meter by a meter balcony but enough to escape.

As you cant tell me and Zoey are rebels. We arent loved at school and we arent loved at home either. We are the only emo/goth people at school but we are together and we will aslways be. Zoey doesnt talk much,  she cant speak much english, but she understands it.

After another smoke we climb down the railings and slide down the gutter tube which is bigger than you think.

I am suddenly distracted dazed i arent thinking clearing and i lose control. i let go. i fall. this is the next disaster of my life.

I am in hospital.

I have this rare disease that doesnt really do any harm they tell me but i have these collaspses. now and again where that happen. i get dazed, arent thinking, lose control and in this one, fall.

Damn, i broke my leg.

Its all plastered up in a smooth white covering that seems inpossible to get out of.

I glance out my window. I see Zoey, inhaling something... you know what im talking about.

I turn my head to the left and see my father. I mouth read what she's saying (the nurse), something like this ' im very sorry James, i will give you the medication for her and she can go home in the morning. But yes, im afraid its getting worse...' i felt a needle stab into my shoulder, i open my mouth to say 'ouch'... but before i can, i am back into a deep sleep.