Coping Mechanisms

9. Hermione

"Godric grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

-Reinhold Niebuhr

Tuesday, September 1, 1998

The Hogwarts Express looked the same as it always had, the scarlet steam engine glimmering brightly on the track. The massive red machine was a stark contrast to the brick landscape of the station, and over the steam trains billowing smoke, a sign announced its 11 a.m. departure. Hermione watched as witches and wizards of all ages said their final goodbyes, their voices drowning out the sounds of the idle engines. Students rushed around the platform, bearing enormous trunks and miscellaneous caged animals. Hermione's own cat, Crookshanks, lay snoozing in his crate, choosing to remain oblivious to the bustling station around him. She pulled her trunk casually behind her, recognizing some familiar faces. Cho Chang stood with a group of fellow Ravenclaws, their easy laughter audible even across the platform. Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan were already deep in conversation as they boarded the train, followed closely by Padma and Parvati Patil, their arms linked. Hermione spotted Luna sharing a heartfelt goodbye with her father, Xenophilius, their blonde hair and dazed expressions especially noticeable in the hoard of people. Everything seemed so normal, and every family seemed so happy. And there she was, completely alone.

Hermione's chest suddenly felt too tight. She stopped in her tracks, her feet heavy as lead. The people around her blurred into an indistinguishable haze as she fought to keep her composure.

Alone, her brain screamed. They aren't here, and you're alone.

Hermione squeezed her eyes shut.

Think of something else, she pleaded. She couldn't break down here, not now.

"Daydreaming again, Granger?" a familiar voice said behind her ear. Her eyes shot open as she inhaled sharply, thanking him silently for the interruption.

"Just waiting for you to catch up," she quipped, her voice weak. She prayed Draco wouldn't notice.

"Your jokes are getting old," he griped.

"I'm not here to entertain you." She turned to meet his eyes.

"What are you here for then?" His eyebrow quirked, almost imperceptibly.

Hermione took a tentative look around them. She suddenly felt exceedingly small.

"I'm not sure yet."

Draco paused, clearly not expecting that answer. His mouth parted slightly, like he wanted to say something, but he snapped it shut and broke their eye contact.

"Well, you better decide soon. Train leaves in 10 minutes." His tone was indifferent, but Hermione could see the strain in his jaw.

Draco stalked off without another word, catching sight of Theo Nott and Blaise Zabini. The three Slytherins didn't look especially friendly, or even pleased to see each other, but they boarded together just the same. He didn't look back.

"Oi, Hermione," Ginny's shrill voice rang. Hermione swiveled to see Harry, Ginny, and Mrs. Weasley pushing their way through the crowd towards her, Ron sulking behind them.

"There you are, dear. We almost didn't recognize you." Molly pulled her into a tight hug. "Ready to go?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Hermione forced a smile.

"It looks nice," Ginny gestured to her hair. Ron didn't look at her.

"Thanks, Gin," Hermione said. "Where's Mr. Weasley?" she asked Molly.